WHAT SORT OF WOMAN READS PACO CAMINO?

She’s seen Mean Girls, The Shawshank Redemption and I Spit On Your Grave like ten times. She’s had it with these two condescending bitch hags ridiculing her and forcing her to perform numerous household chores in tattered rags. The tears may be real for now, but tonight, revenge will be hers. Not only will she embarrass those two slut bags at the ball with buckets of pig’s blood (she’s seen Carrie a few times too), the Paco Camino Woman will totally seduce the hot prom prince in a form-fitting Roberto Cavalli ball gown revealing her spectacular cleavage. Well, at least until midnight anyway, when her carriage turns into a pumpkin (fairy god mice have no concept about all nighters). Don’t worry, Prince Stallion Footfetish will post on Craigslist, “Yo caliente senorita! Callad y que se cumpla mi voluntad! Senatos, jovencita y dejad que yo mismo os prube el zapato Manolo Blahnik.” They lived happily ever after.