Monday, August 31, 2009

The following handwritten letter was found this morning on the unseasonably cool marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

It just dawned on me that it’s getting darker earlier. Maybe it’s because the sun is setting faster. You know, like that old Elton John song “Don’t Let Your Son Go Down On Me.” Also, I’ve been meaning to ask if you have another copy of that peanut butter & jelly sandwich recipe. I seem to be missing a key ingredient ‘cause when I try to eat two large scoops of peanut butter & jelly cupped in my hands, the sticky mess just smears all over my face. Wait a second--it’s bread, isn’t it? Damn I was actually thinking about a yeast-based, two-sectioned flat barrier that could contain both the peanut butter & the jelly in a sandwich-like capacity.

Strange too, since I’m half of a trio of short order cooks working at the Trapezoid deli,


Song of the Day:

James Pants, "Ka$h (Peanut Butter Wolf Remix)"

Friday, August 28, 2009

I'm a sack of broken eggs, I always have an unmade bed...

Don't you? I am just a monkey man, I'm glad you are a monkey woman too.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


RedCoupleaHe’s supremely confident and hung like a jury of 12. We’re talking about a baseball bat, no foolin’ around, boa constrictor trouser snake for a penis. Attending an exclusive Mediterranean yacht party with a stout Nordic woman brandishing maximum blouse-bursting nipplage, the Paco Camino Man sports kickass fashion sense and expects his women to coordinate. Sure his toned arms are too long for his supervillain sweater, but his reinforced crotch leisure pants securely house his impressive manhood. The Paco Camino Man: The envy of all Eastern European bloc commercial sailing and recreational boating communities since 1956.

Friday, August 07, 2009


He’s a ladies man unafraid to dance in public, considers fresh breath a priority and likes a real clean, close shave. As King of the Dipshits, he'll start the evening having never bagged a babe and making a risky bet with dorks Bryce and Cliff over a dozen floppy disks in exchange for underpants--girls underpants. After interfacing with fully aged sophomore meat vulnerable since her family forgot her 16th birthday (and horrified that her grandmother felt her up), Farmer Ted will convince her to let him borrow her underpants. Ever the entrepreneur, he’ll secretly charge a $1 a freshman to see the panties in the boy’s bathroom, and later tonight, he'll become a Paco Camino Man losing his virginity with prom queen Carolyn Mulford in a Rolls Royce parked across the street from his church. Despite two witnesses, photo proof proved elusive.

RIP screenwriter extraordinaire, John Hughes.

Vintage Ad: Bain de Soleil, 1977

Rene Russo, years before her 1989 film debut in the baseball classic Major League.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Monday, August 03, 2009

Lucha Libre,..Danger Doom Style

Giddy Up!