Putting seven years of college to work, The Paco Camino Man has the misguided conviction that it wasn’t over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. Man of a thousand facial expressions, he’s able to spy on women in their underwear by hopping a ladder outside sorority houses and always apologizes after smashing acoustic guitars away from shitty folk singers at a toga parties (um, sorry). Achieving the lowest grade point average in Faber College history (0.0), the hard partying Paco Camino Man is also adept at impersonating a zit and starting epic food fights. Though he wasn’t seen on film, the slob described as a P-I-G, pig would secretly nab sorority sisters Mandy Pepperidge and Babs Jensen to the dismay of the hated Omegas. Not bad for a dropout that would one day become a U.S. senator. Suck on that, double secret probation.