WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

Putting seven years of college to work, The Paco Camino Man has the misguided conviction that it wasn’t over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. Man of a thousand facial expressions, he’s able to spy on women in their underwear by hopping a ladder outside sorority houses and always apologizes after smashing acoustic guitars away from shitty folk singers at a toga parties (um, sorry). Achieving the lowest grade point average in Faber College history (0.0), the hard partying Paco Camino Man is also adept at impersonating a zit and starting epic food fights. Though he wasn’t seen on film, the slob described as a P-I-G, pig would secretly nab sorority sisters Mandy Pepperidge and Babs Jensen to the dismay of the hated Omegas. Not bad for a dropout that would one day become a U.S. senator. Suck on that, double secret probation.