Wednesday, May 07, 2008

The following handwritten letter was found crumpled up on the hallowed grounds of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

With my doorframe-catching childbearing hips, I’m really digging the hot new Hillary Pantsuit Collection from Sears. Hey when gas hits 4 bucks a gallon, I’m going back into stripping because removing paint from old furniture is my real passion. I know this guy with a video camera that pays good money to rub stuff out for him, plus he’s recommended me to all his friends that have hard wood in need of relief. Happy endings for all! Hey there’s a Facebook group for “Cats That Look Like Hitler,” but there’s none for “Beavers That Look Like Tolstoy” or “Bearded Clams That Look Like Pink Tacos.” What gives? I’m thinking of changing my surname to Sylvestera Cornrow from Cornhole Cornwall. Makes me sound more regal and distinguished, huh?

It’s a calculated mistake not correcting the wrong answer to the big math question,


Song of the Day:

Marvin Gaye, “You Can Leave But It’s Going To Cost You” (alternate/extended mix)

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