Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Monday, July 28, 2008

Saturday, July 26, 2008


He knew he was in big trouble when confronted by two militaristic warrior women after his plane carrying smuggled ball gags crash-landed deep in S&M country. For hours, a sadistic, yet oddly arousing game of sexual interrogation had been fun, but his back and ass had been ravaged enough. Since neither one of these pissed-off man-eaters were responding to his safe word ("plastics"), escaping the braless brunette’s unyielding whip and the blonde’s crushing boob death grip would be no easy feat. But don’t worry, the highly experienced Paco Camino Man will not only have these two angry tigers tamed in no time, but they’ll all be arriving VIP style in Stuttgart later to see Kraftwerk.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Vintage Ad: Winston cigarettes, 1968

Warts and all, and no Surgeon General's warning either.

Monday, July 21, 2008

The following handwritten letter was recently discovered crumpled up on the summer steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

Remember when you explicitly screamed that I shouldn’t under any circumstances put that rickety homemade tank containing thousands of Mexican jumping spiders in your room while you were away at fashionista camp? Yeah well, uh, I might have completely accidentally left the tank on your bed while I was out shopping for an escape-proof tank and like now all the spiders are totally gone. Don’t worry—I got a couple dozen of them back, so like, that’s promising. The rest are probably just hiding in your mattress waiting to feast on human blood. You know, statistics show that the average sleeping person unknowingly eats like seven spiders a year anyway.

Oh damn, is it the 132nd or 133rd spider bite that causes blind delirium and uncontrollable bowels?


Song of the Day:

The Karminsky Experience, “Departures”

Craptacular children's television 1977: The Skatebirds

Yo Gabba Gabba! this ain't. Its as if Cheech & Chong scripted a kid's TV show.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Decadent Smut: Christina's Need, 1983

AN EXPLORATION OF ONE WOMAN'S INSATIABLE CRAVING ~ Christina van Bell takes love joyfully wherever she can find it. But now true love has found her, in the shape of a man who makes an art out of the lightest, most teasing touch. It is love so utterly fulfilling that she must search for it through the world’s greatest pleasure zones, from the intoxicating marijuana hills of Mexico to Thailand’s exotic dens of sin.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Video Flashback: Night Call Nurses, 1972

Feeling down? Come and spend the night with the Night Call Nurses. Experts in their profession. They nurse patients the way no doctor can. Night Call Nurses love their work. You will want to taste their brand of medicine. On, or off duty they get it on. Nurses dispensing pills and thrills. They give out more than first aid. Nursing, always harder at night… Night Call Nurses exposes everything you’ve always wanted to know about nurses.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Vintage Ad: Triumph 100s Cigarettes, 1981

Umph! Right in the lungs! Yeah! So much Umph in fact, that he peed himself.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

The following handwritten letter was just found crumpled up on the toasty sun-baked marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

You were right to warn me about wearing a crisscross open mesh cycling outfit on that 8-hour Death Valley charity bike ride benefiting people who make poor choices selecting appropriate outfits for specific athletic events. Not only did I chafe the hell out of my delicate lady taint, but I probably should've brought some drinking water instead of an old package of stale saltine crackers (I was like, soo thirsty the whole time). Anyway my back, arms and legs are now painfully sunburned in a chain-link fence type pattern, and that figures since tomorrow I have to wear a red & white polka dotted backless bridesmaids mini dress that’s of course, completely arm bearing. At least I was wearing a helmet or my upper face would’ve burned like the bottom half of my face. I’m now controlling the drooling from the corners of my mouth, but my blistered lips still look like swollen skin balloons.

Gee, can’t wait to take pictures tomorrow,


Song of the Day:

Fu Manchu, “Chevy Van”

Friday, July 11, 2008

Picnic: La Revista del Humor Porteno, 1969

The bodacious Isabel Sarli, Miss Argentina 1955.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Corinne Alphen: Where is she now?

Once Penthouse Pet and actress, she's now certified in advanced tarot card reading.

Buried under an avalanche of cheap ‘Girls Gone Wild’ videos, few may remember this 1983 T&A film classic simply called Spring Break. It's not available on DVD, but it may still lurk on the dusty VHS shelves of your local mom & pop video store if you’re intrigued. In this boneriffic scene, 1982 Penthouse Pet of the Year, Corinne Alphen struts and pumps as lead singer of the obscure Ft. Lauderdale band Hot Date. A spiked dog collar, black thigh-high boots and tight pink spandex housing glorious natural flesh have never looked so great together.

UPDATE: Spring Break is finally on DVD! Not much for extras, but at least it's widescreen.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

WTF?: Heather Parisi, "Disco Bambina"

If you can watch this whole video, then you know this atrocity defies words. Like, Robin Sparkles is even cringing. It's so great that someone actually posted this on Youtube.