Sunday, April 04, 2010

The following handwritten letter was recently discovered on the cold, but sunny marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

Since when is Easter on a Sunday? I finally rented the flick Into the Wild and watched it like three times. Um, that hiker dude gets rescued at the end, right? I was so inspired by cutie Emile Hirsch when he cut up his credit cards and burned his money, that I’ve invested in a rice manufacturing plant (so I’ll never run out) and deleted like a 100 Myspace friends to symbolize severing complete ties with the outside world. Speaking of movies, I heard Leonardo DiCaprio might do Titanic II: Jack Dawson’s Spring Break Revenge. This time he’s a struggling baseball player fighting a strong passion to pole dance at a gay underwater men’s club run by loan sharks claiming the Titanic was a staged hoax like Oceanic flight 815 on LOST. Do your socks smell fishy and taste all silty and gritty? Yeah, funny, mine too. Maybe it’s that new Sand & Seagull detergent I bought in coffee cans from that homeless vagrant down at the docks.

“Beachy Clean” my ass!


Song of the Day:

Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings, “Keep On Looking (Kenny Dope remix)

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