Come see Paco Camino's new digs!

After three years of posting tons of obscure retro crap and general nonsense stupid shit, Paco Camino is stretching it's legs with the addition of a real website. I'd like to personally thank every loyal Paco Camino follower and anyone that's ever stumbled onto us looking for pop culture relics, but finding idiotic 'Dear Lisa' letters and ridiculous CD Bullshit or Not! quizzes. Don't worry, we'll leave the light on here, but the real party will be over at PacoCamino.com

FEO MATEO

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

Though it’s cold and lonely in the deep dark night, he can see paradise by the dashboard light. Trying to get all the way around the bases and score with his hot backup singer proved challenging. Would he love her forever? Need her? Never leave her? Make her feel so happy for the rest of her life? Will he take her away? Will he make her his wife? Baby, baby, just let him sleep on it. I know she’s got to know right now! (before they go any further), but damn, it never felt so good, it never felt so right, and they were praying for the end of time. But more importantly, the American Express card. The Paco Camino Man never leaves home without it.

Vintage Ad: U.S. Bongs, 1977

Bullshit or Not! May 11, 2010 Album Releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Wax Fang, La La Land
2. Stinky Toys, Plastic Faces
3. Brain Drill, Quantum Catastrophe
4. Puffy Areolas, In The Army, 1981
5. Stencho-Tronics, Electro-Beatdown
6. Holy Fuck, Latin
7. Shitty City Burnouts, Sunshine City Slurs
8. Micro Farts, Deep Channel Damage
9. Off Duty Doughnuts, Bombs Away
10. Sex Addicts, What Problem?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Legit!
1. Wax Fang, La La Land
2. Stinky Toys, Plastic Faces
3. Brain Drill, Quantum Catastrophe
4. Puffy Areolas, In The Army, 1981
6. Holy Fuck, Latin
Bullshit!
5. Stencho-Tronics, Electro-Beatdown
7. Shitty City Burnouts, Sunshine City Slurs
8. Micro Farts, Deep Channel Damage
9. Off Duty Doughnuts, Bombs Away
10. Sex Addicts, What Problem?

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He’s an opportunist. Despite looking like a greasy dork in his concession stand duds, when this horny surfer has the chance to check out a hot chick, he totally goes for it. Straight out of a scene from a raunchy T&A matinee classic, the Paco Camino Man knows that if Debbie leans back any further, he may see some hair pie. Of course, his boss will totally bitch him out for being a perv, but it’ll all be worth it. Ah, Debbie in her scarlet letter cheerleader uniform. Sure she’s got her eyes on the entire football team, but if Brad here plays his cards right, a milkshake on the house might equal one in his pants come halftime.

Bullshit or Not! May 4, 2010 Album Releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Sex Presleys, Never Mind The Pollocks, We’re The Cod Army
2. Killer Bong, Leipzig Dub
3. Massive Guilt Trip, You’re Standing On My Hair
4. 8 Inch Betsy, Mean Days
5. Sonic Death Pigeon, Your Windshield is Mine
6. Various Artists, String Tribute to Deftones
7. Pool Fulla Badgers, Roadkill Smorgasbord
8. Cesar Puente & the Grass Skirt Cross-Dressers, Nookie Luau
9. Pathology, Incisions of Perverse Debauchery
10. Various Artists, Smooth Sax Tribute to Cannibal Corpse
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Legit!
1. Sex Presleys, Never Mind The Pollocks, We’re The Cod Army
2. Killer Bong, Leipzig Dub
4. 8 Inch Betsy, Mean Days
6. Various Artists, String Tribute to Deftones
9. Pathology, Incisions of Perverse Debauchery

Bullshit!
3. Massive Guilt Trip, You’re Standing On My Hair
5. Sonic Death Pigeon, Your Windshield is Mine
7. Pool Fulla Badgers, Roadkill Smorgasbord
8. Cesar Puente & the Grass Skirt Cross-Dressers, Nookie Luau
10. Various Artists, Smooth Sax Tribute to Cannibal Corpse

Vintage Porn Poster: Sex World, 1978

Bullshit or Not! April 27, 2010 Album Releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Alcoholic Faith Mission, Let This Be Last Night We Care
2. Fleas & Lice, Recipes For Catastrophes
3. Coathanger Abortion, Dying Breed
4. Tard, Disgorging Guttural Regurgitations
5. Atrocious Abnormality, Echoes of the Rotting
6. Sikfuk, Shitfisted Superman: The Man of Stool
7. Execration, Feast For The Wretched
8. Frog Eyes, Paul’s Tomb: A Triumph
9. Engaged in Mutilating, Population: Zero
10. Mouth Sewn Shut, Pandemic Equals Solution
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Legit!
1. Alcoholic Faith Mission, Let This Be Last Night We Care
2. Fleas & Lice, Recipes For Catastrophes
3. Coathanger Abortion, Dying Breed
4. Tard, Disgorging Guttural Regurgitations
5. Atrocious Abnormality, Echoes of the Rotting
6. Sikfuk, Shitfisted Superman: The Man of Stool
7. Execration, Feast For The Wretched
8. Frog Eyes, Paul’s Tomb: A Triumph
9. Engaged in Mutilating, Population: Zero
10. Mouth Sewn Shut, Pandemic Equals Solution
Bullshit!
None! These are all real.

Vintage Ad: RCA electronics, 1974

Speakers that look like boobs. Cool.

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He can see your house from here in his kick-ass balloon car. That’s right my brother, when you’ve got a motherfucking balloon car, it’s easy to get high and roll in style. Now, surely driving a balloon car is a fun adventure and a surefire way to get into any chick's pants, but sometimes in deeply reflective moments, the Paco Camino Man will look at the beautiful countryside floating underneath him and think, “Man, I’ll bet that starving dude from Into The Wild would’ve loved one of these, huh? Not only could Alexander Supertramp have crossed a raging river, but he could have made a sandwich and a stiff cocktail from the wet bar and custom deli fridge built in the back.”