The following handwritten letter was recently discovered on the sunny marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

Apparently my fat ass is too buoyant for underwater chair aerobics and that aqua yoga class is all wet too—I keep getting water up my nose doing Chakra asanas and my inadvertent fartilicious wind-relieving Pavana-mukta-asana poses are producing ripple waves big enough to capsize elderly aerobicizers. Cast iron ankle weights helped until I slipped into the deep end and sunk like a frozen Leonardo DeTitanico, plus when I did that, I blew out a huge snot bubble floater that evacuated the pool. Well anyway, if that internship for highly gifted engineering geniuses doesn’t pan out, at least I can fall back on my amazing basketball skills, er, I mean my limited middle school cafeteria dishwashing experience. I keep mixing those two up.

FYI--sticky flypaper isn’t the way to go to remove unwanted back hair,

Kristin

Song of the Day:

Erykah Badu, “The Cell”