Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Bullshit or Not! October 28, 2008 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Landmine Marathon, Rusted Eyes Awake
2. Dr. Know, Fuck Off and Die
3. I Am Robot and Proud, Uphill City
4. Total Fucking Destruction, Peace, Love, and Total Fucking Destruction
5. Dog Fashion Disco, Beating a Dead Horse to Death…Again
6. Carcass, Reek of Putrefaction
7. Those Poor Bastards, Satan Is Watching
8. Dead By Wednesday, Killing Project
9. Brutal Truth, For Drug Crazed Grindfreaks Only!
10. Dagoba, Facing The Colossus

Legit!
1. Landmine Marathon, Rusted Eyes Awake
2. Dr. Know, Fuck Off and Die
3. I Am Robot and Proud, Uphill City
4. Total Fucking Destruction, Peace, Love, and Total Fucking Destruction
5. Dog Fashion Disco, Beating a Dead Horse to Death…Again
6. Carcass, Reek of Putrefaction
7. Those Poor Bastards, Satan Is Watching
8. Dead By Wednesday, Killing Project
9. Brutal Truth, For Drug Crazed Grindfreaks Only!
10. Dagoba, Facing The Colossus

Bullshit!
None! They're all real CDs available now.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Friday, October 24, 2008

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Damn fine listening material: Nirvana, Trick Or Treat, 1991

There's no better rock & roll fantasy than a small time band on the verge of newfound stardom with an exploding album, headlining for a hometown crowd. This was the scenario Halloween night 1991, days after Nevermind had quickly gone gold; Seattle's Paramount Theatre was witness to a now truly powerful band. Professionally filmed by Geffen, but shelved as a possible movie release, footage was used for the "Lithium" video, and the feature-length Live Sold Out, while audio clips were used as B-sides; later, "Negative Creep" appeared on the posthumous From the Muddy Banks of the Wishkah live compilation. Nirvana's excellent performance, matching sound quality, along with a killer set list, makes Trick or Treat a historically relevant recording. Crushing versions of "Breed," "Negative Creep," "Blew" and "Aneurysm" are interspersed with the exuberance and beauty of "Lithium," "About a Girl" and "Been a Son." Manufactured in Italy, KTS bootlegs have a fine reputation for premium sound quality and packaging -- the only flaw anywhere is the spelling of the opener, "Jesus Doesn't Want Me for a Sunbeam." Bassist Krist Novoselic was the mouthpiece of the evening, chiding the crowd that only two percent of the audience dressed in costume, unless they were all supposed to be punk rockers, and later commenting that "there's more cameras in here than in a 7-11." Dave Grohl's bombastic yet tight, precise drumming should draw comparisons to Black Sabbath's Bill Ward and Led Zeppelin's John Bonham. Foremost on display though is Kurt Cobain's piercing, guttural voice and the amazing simplicity of his words and music that mesmerized millions. Simply put, this is the '90s equivalent of the Who's Live at Leeds, caught at a revolutionary peak before a haze of drugs, creative pressure, media meddling and the "Sid and Nancy syndrome" ultimately led to Cobain's death, blackening but securing Nirvana's legacy. ~ Craig Curtice, All Music Guide

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Disney's Haunted Halloween

Body on Tap

Beer shampoo ROCKS!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Bullshit or Not! October 21, 2008 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Vitamin String Quartet, Back In Baroque: The String Tribute to AC/DC
2. Jesus H Christ and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Happier Than You
3. Morbidly Skinny, Fatter Than Anorexia
4. Bob Gargle, Rinsin’ With Bob Gargle
5. The Jungle Puds, Swinging Males Dig The Females
6. Gang Gang Dance, Saint Dymphna
7. Boy Eats Drum Machine, Booomboxxx
8. Closet Nightmares, 14 Pounds of Shoebox Toenils
9. Street Meat, You’d Be Surprised
10. Durwood Haddock, I Done The Boogie Too Long

Legit!
1. Vitamin String Quartet, Back In Baroque: The String Tribute to AC/DC
2. Jesus H Christ and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Happier Than You
6. Gang Gang Dance, Saint Dymphna
7. Boy Eats Drum Machine, Booomboxxx
10. Durwood Haddock, I Done The Boogie Too Long

Bullshit!
3. Morbidly Skinny, Fatter Than Anorexia
4. Bob Gargle, Rinsin’ With Bob Gargle
5. The Jungle Puds, Swinging Males Dig The Females
8. Closet Nightmares, 14 Pounds of Shoebox Toenils
9. Street Meat, You’d Be Surprised

Saturday, October 18, 2008

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

The Paco Camino Man hates to wait for a date. Sure, she’s a complete and total fox that he’ll bed later tonight with enough animalistic abandon to potentially ruin her for the rest of her life, but for now he’s concerned about the agonizing manner of which she's getting ready for the big rock show. Luckily he’s wearing a cool, moisture-wicking Dacron turtleneck under a wrinkle-free acrylic & wool blend casual sport coat with matching ultra comfortable relax-fit pants, otherwise he might be sweating it. Of course there’s no need to fret, as the limo driver waiting outside is already paid for by all the members of Aerosmith (who owe him their big break after he discovered them playing a dive bar on a rainy Boston night some years ago). The Paco Camino Man. He likes his rock stars fucked up on coke and his women totally fine and on time.

Friday, October 17, 2008

O.J. wonders where do losers rent cars? Woo, hand, scary.

The Paul Lynde Halloween Special, 1976


KISS lip synchs "Detroit Rock City" for a Halloween TV Special hosted by Paul Lynde.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The following handwritten letter was recently discovered among the fall leaves on the marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

I think I’m going to go this Halloween as either a bitchy fashionista slumming in a pair of saggy ass sweats and stretched out granny panties and I'll tie the whole ensem together with a White Russian-stained bathrobe. Or maybe I’ll glue my mouth shut and go as an armless prostitute locked in a crude medieval armor chastity belt I liberated from an Amsterdam sex museum last month. Now of course there’s the sublime irony that no one will get my costume, but it’d be a huge personal accomplishment to drink with my feet all night. I’d still have keep both my real arms attached to my body though (my doctor says amputation is rather foolish for a Halloween costume), so I would try to disguise my arms to appear like I don’t actually have any arms. Ya know, I heard Napoleon kept his armies in his sleevies. Hmm, maybe I could do that. Wow, isn't it like so weird that I simultaneously think of random stuff at completely different times?

Wrapping my feet in your medicated acne facial towels helps my swamp-foot problem,

Kristin

Song of the Day:

Pudding Snack Chaos, “Bill Cosby Gangsta Rap”

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Phantasm, 1979


Is it a nightmare? Is it an illusion? Is it an evil? Is it a fantasy? Is it alive?
Whatever it is...if this one doesn't scare you, you're already dead.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Bullshit or Not! October 14, 2008 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Tobacco, Fucked Up Friends
2. Sleeping In The Aviary, Expensive Vomit In a Cheap Hotel
3. I’m From Barcelona, Who Killed Harry Houdini?
4. My Cat Smuggles Used Air Conditioners, Hot To The Touch
5. Sloppy Seconds, Endless Bummer
6. Beat Off Beat, Pounding Skin Drums Before Mom Gets Home
7. Wax Fang, La La Land
8. Hot Underwater Snatch, Eat Squid and Die
9. Various Artists, Pickin’ Them Bones: A Skiffle Tribute to Cannibal Corpse
10. Skankalicious, Bastard Contingency

Legit!
1. Tobacco, Fucked Up Friends
2. Sleeping In The Aviary, Expensive Vomit In a Cheap Hotel
3. I’m From Barcelona, Who Killed Harry Houdini?
5. Sloppy Seconds, Endless Bummer
7. Wax Fang, La La Land

Bullshit!
4. My Cat Smuggles Used Air Conditioners, Hot To The Touch
6. Beat Off Beat, Pounding Skin Drums Before Mom Gets Home
8. Hot Underwater Snatch, Eat Squid and Die
9. Various Artists, Pickin’ Them Bones: A Skiffle Tribute to Cannibal Corpse
10. Skankalicious, Bastard Contingency

Monday, October 13, 2008

Let's Paint T.V.: Halloween Special


Marvel in horror as Adelphia Cable Access host John Kilduff takes hilarious
phone calls from stoned idiots during his amateur hour painting show.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Thursday, October 09, 2008

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

You know him as King Kong, but all the ladies call him King Dong. That’s 'cause he’s hung like a freaking monster. Okay, so he’s not a man, but like lots of men that go bananas for blondes in white dresses (who can really scream their heads off), he’s just a misunderstood antihero with a great smile. Hey you’d be pissed too if you were captured from Skull Island, transported in chains halfway around the globe to New York City and forced to appear as a circus attraction on Broadway. Unfortunately, the relationship between Man & Ape has always been rocky (just ask Charlton Heston or Jane Goodall). Some would say it was beauty that killed the beast, yet everyone knows it was actually airplanes shooting at him in the 1933 original and helicopters in the 1976 remake starring Jessica Lange. Ape or not, he’s still all Paco Camino Man.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Bullshit or Not! October 7, 2008 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. The Legendary Pink Dots, Plutonium Blonde
2. Skip Larvae, Playtime For Bananas
3. These Arms Are Snakes, Tail Swallower & Dove
4. Oh My God, Fools Want Noise
5. Down There!, Taint That a Shame
6. Various Artists, Reign in Bloodgrass: A Bluegrass Tribute to Slayer
7. Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s, Not Animal
8. Andy Bopp, This Guitar Kills Songwriters
9. Penguin Parts, Rafter Rock
10. Sixteen Gladstone, Perpetuate Hate

Legit!
1. The Legendary Pink Dots, Plutonium Blonde
3. These Arms Are Snakes, Tail Swallower & Dove
4. Oh My God, Fools Want Noise
7. Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s, Not Animal
8. Andy Bopp, This Guitar Kills Songwriters

Bullshit!
2. Skip Larvae, Playtime For Bananas
5. Down There!, Taint That a Shame
6. Various Artists, Reign in Bloodgrass: A Bluegrass Tribute to Slayer
9. Penguin Parts, Rafter Rock
10. Sixteen Gladstone, Perpetuate Hate

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

The Rocky Horror Picture Show "Sweet Transvestite"


Stop the madness! MTV is planning to remake this legendary cult classic.