Monday, May 14, 2007

The following handwritten letter was recently discovered on the steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

Holy crap, we’re finally graduating! Well at least that’s what I think I’m going to say to all our friends and families in like three years or so when we actually do graduate. But I suppose that all depends on our upcoming high court inquiry by the DEA commission into our intricate smuggling ring selling volleyballs filled with our farts through the basement of the community activity annex and then transporting them across state lines into Mexico and Canada where they are coveted as novelty exploding gag souvenirs for blind people because their sense of smell is heightened. Hey, who knew there’s lots of stuff in the yellow pages? I thought those were just for ordering pizzas. Or bail bondsmen.

I trimmed my front bush to look like a bunny. Everyone on the street just loves to stare at it,


Song of the Day:

Malfunkshun, “With Yo Heart (Not Yo Hands)”

No comments: