Jesus Christ, did Bruce Willis make a Banjo Party album? Sure as hell looks like him.

Frank Ovanin my ass. That's freaking Bruce Willis. Bullshit or Not?

The following handwritten letter was found crumpled on the unseasonably warm marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

I had a word problem antacid trip about a train carrying Queens of the Stone Age leaving Chicago sometime yesterday and heading southwest at 93 MPH, while another train departing with Rage Against The Machine left New York traveling 87 MPH sometime the following Thursday in a northeast-ish direction. Winning a free bucket of variety chicken from Clucko’s, I determined the trains would intersect if operated by US American conductors who went to school in South Carolina and the Iraq, such as, and like had no maps. Funny, but after reprogramming my iPhone as a potentiometer measuring electromotive forces, which are of course, negated by variable resistances crossing through established currents, I found that it works perfectly great as a vibrating multimedia sex toy.

Hey does your pee smell suddenly like urine?

Kristin

Song of the Day:
Fairmount Girls, “Sinkin’ In”

Vintage Ad #17: Tipalet flavored cigarettes, 1970

"Hit her with tangy Tipalet Cherry. Or rich, grape-y Tipalet Burgundy. Or luscious Tipalet Blueberry. It's wild! Tipalet. It's new. Different. Delicious in taste and in aroma. A puff in her direction and she'll follow you, anywhere. Oh yes...you get smoking satisfaction without inhaling smoke. Smokers of America, do yourself a flavor. Make your next cigarette a Tipalet."

Stop the bullets. Kill the gun

Nike. Back in the Day.

Forget Nike shox or Nike iPod. We're talking old skool kicks. And a lot more facial hair.

Drum War! Buddy Rich vs. Animal!

Animal can only scream in open-mouthed horror as he poops out early getting stick-whipped by legendary human drummer Buddy Rich.

Vintage Ad # 45: Oshkosh B'gosh, 1973

Players Choice Couple: Suddenly busted for stumbling in with an empty wine bottle and carrying his shoes (no time to untie them I see).

"It was one warm July night—rather, morning—about five a.m. in one of them newfangled swingers apartment buildings uptown midtown. Harvy Jones had moved there due to the persistent urgings of his wife, Vikki, who wanted to live the glamorous and stylish life she imagined all young swinging couples lived—the best of everything, food, cars, bad pads, furs, rings and things, etc."

Ten bucks says this ends badly.

Vintage Ad #71: Cruex Jock Itch Powder, 1977

Chafing? Rash? Groin irritation? Any man can get them, especially if you’re active and work up a sweat. That’s why you need Cruex, the medicated powder that gives you fast, soothing relief, plus special medication that fights the causes of Jock Itch. Cruex, the product made specifically for Jock Itch and other groin irritations.

Ex-Catholic or Cathoholic