Monday, September 10, 2007

The following handwritten letter was found crumpled on the unseasonably warm marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

I had a word problem antacid trip about a train carrying Queens of the Stone Age leaving Chicago sometime yesterday and heading southwest at 93 MPH, while another train departing with Rage Against The Machine left New York traveling 87 MPH sometime the following Thursday in a northeast-ish direction. Winning a free bucket of variety chicken from Clucko’s, I determined the trains would intersect if operated by US American conductors who went to school in South Carolina and the Iraq, such as, and like had no maps. Funny, but after reprogramming my iPhone as a potentiometer measuring electromotive forces, which are of course, negated by variable resistances crossing through established currents, I found that it works perfectly great as a vibrating multimedia sex toy.

Hey does your pee smell suddenly like urine?


Song of the Day:
Fairmount Girls, “Sinkin’ In”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Kristin is my hero.