Thursday, August 28, 2014


He owns the luckiest bath towels in the world. With a lubricating passion for slippy motion lotions & aromatic fragrance potions, he’s a genuine pioneer in the fine art of manscaping. A sensation on the college lecture circuit, his groundbreaking work orchestrating sexy threesomes is the stuff of legend. Masters & Johnson have nothing on him since you could say he’s completely mastered his Johnson. Groan--even with a weak-ass dick joke like that, the Paco Camino Man is still accompanying two beautiful ladies to a steamy, drop-towel party in his sauna. See, he’s looking at the man in the mirror and knows there’s no need to change his ways--he’s making the world a better place with his impeccable bedroom etiquette, yummy personal grooming, and intoxicating aerosol knowledge of the sexual universe.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Summer loving, had me a blast..

Summer loving, happened so fast.
I met a girl, crazy for me,
met a boy, cute as can be.
summer days, drifting away,
to, ooh ah, oh those summer nights...

Friday, August 15, 2014

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Decadent Smut: Christina's Essence, 1984

AN AROMATIC PLUNGE INTO EROTIC PLEASURE: When dazzling Chrsitina van Bell sets out to save a faltering house of high fashion perfume and cosmetics, she embraces the task with all the passion for which she is so famous. From Rome to the Rockies, the world's proudest men and women succumb to Christina's seductive fragrance--and thrill to the taste of her red-hot lipstick. They learn to their deepest delight that no bottled magic can match the natural beauty of Christians' essence.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Sunday, August 10, 2014


"Theme from Jaws plays"
[A knock at the door]
 Woman: [approaches the door] Yes?
 Land Shark: [muffled voice] Mrs. Arlsbergerhh??
 Woman: Who?
 Land Shark: [muffled voice] Mrs. Johnannesburrrr??
 Woman: Who is it?
 Land Shark: [muffled voice] Flowers.
 Woman: Flowers? From whom?
 Land Shark: [muffled voice] Plumber, ma'am..
 Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?
 Land Shark: [muffled voice] Candygram.
 Woman: Candygram, my foot! Get out of here before I call the police. You're the shark, and you know it.
 Land Shark: [muffled voice] I'm only a dolphin, ma'am..
 Woman: A dolphin? Well.. okay..
 [she opens the door, as the shark pulls her screaming into the hallway]

Saturday, August 02, 2014