Monday, November 30, 2009

Saturday, November 28, 2009

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He gets older, but all these high school girls stay the same age. Yes they do. Hanging down at the Jack in the Box (conveniently located across the street from the pool hall and arcade), the Paco Camino Man draws the attention of two flirty girl scouts out to sell more than just cookies. Fulfilling their motto of “Do a good turn daily,” these horny scouts will use the buddy system to play sexy wide games and will go all the way to obtain erotic merit badges. And in a raunchy senior cadette challenge, the Paco Camino Man will hold up three middle fingers and swear to accept a positioning statement cultivating values, social conscience and self-esteem.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Monday, November 23, 2009

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

Ooh baby. He’s a legendary cocksman with a sausage compass set permanently north. Inspiring the cover art for a thousand trashy romance novels, the Paco Camino Man flaunts a mythical mane of untamed hair, amber-tinted Aviator sunglasses and sans shirt, pulls off exposing his piliferous chest with a peach-colored Members Only jacket. Reeling in two smoking hot maidens using his tractor beam radar, this lustful lothario radiates animal magnetism that blows the buttons right off one chick's rayon blouse to reveal a matching seafoam Dacron bikini. Nothing like his doofus brother Cosmo, (a bumbling NYC apartment dweller living across the hall from an observational stand up comedian) The Paco Camino Man is setting sail for another yacht rocking experience.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Bullshit or Not! November 17, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Haruka Fukuhara, Kitchen Ha My Stage
2. We All Have Hooks For Hands, The Shape of Energy
3. Entombed, Christmas In Hell
4. Arsonists Get All The Girls, Portals
5. Temporary Insanity of Darkroom Familia, Woke Up Hatin’ Tha World
6. Carbon Dating, Fossils Don’t Fuck
7. Dickle, Dickle Doodle-Doo
8. Fudko Associates, Damn Wang, Your Ying is in My Yang
9. Turbo Fruits, Echo Kid
10. Fudge Plug, It’s Exactly What You Think

Legit!
1. Haruka Fukuhara, Kitchen Ha My Stage
2. We All Have Hooks For Hands, The Shape of Energy
4. Arsonists Get All The Girls, Portals
5. Temporary Insanity of Darkroom Familia, Woke Up Hatin’ Tha World
9. Turbo Fruits, Echo Kid

Bullshit!
3. Entombed, Christmas In Hell
6. Carbon Dating, Fossils Don’t Fuck
7. Dickle, Dickle Doodle-Doo
8. Fudko Associates, Damn Wang, Your Ying is in My Yang
10. Fudge Plug, It’s Exactly What You Think

Monday, November 16, 2009

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Bullshit or Not! November 10, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1.Vince Ray & The Boneshakers, Somebody’s Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight
2. Fuckpony, Let The Love Flow
3. Enmity, Vomit Forth Intestinal Excrement
4. Computer Perfection, We Wish You Well On Your Way To Hell
5. Meth Skank Whores From Lebanon, Sucks To Be You
6. Boner Ponies, Pitching A Tent For God
7. Awaiting The Autopsy, Couldn’t Tell The Bodies Apart
8. Forgone Conclusion, Make Up Your Mind Already
9. Mastard Child, Bustard Cutup
10. Fartacular, Celestial Winds of Colon
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Legit!
1. Vince Ray & The Boneshakers, Somebody’s Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight
2. Fuckpony, Let The Love Flow
3. Enmity, Vomit Forth Intestinal Excrement
4. Computer Perfection, We Wish You Well On Your Way To Hell
7. Awaiting The Autopsy, Couldn’t Tell The Bodies Apart

Bullshit!
5. Meth Skank Whores From Lebanon, Sucks To Be You
6. Boner Ponies, Pitching A Tent For God
8. Forgone Conclusion, Make Up Your Mind Already
9. Mastard Child, Bustard Cutup
10. Fartacular, Celestial Winds of Colon

Monday, November 09, 2009

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

DamagedPacoManaOne good look by the Paco Camino Man and he knows she’s damaged. Big time. Her shy demeanor and devil may care, long cable-knit sweater don't fool him for a sec—he’ll easily convince her they must both be crazy for wandering away from an exclusive house party in the Hamptons and squatting next to a grungy frog pond wearing white pants. Thankfully he had an extra stiff vodka & tonic to offer her as well as this sound advice, “No matter who this guy is, just remember someone better, like me, will come along to sweep you off your feet, have mad sex with you and proceed to never call again, because I’ll be too busy having mad sex with other women just like you. You know, needy and vulnerable.” The Paco Camino Man—damn it feels good to help.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Friday, November 06, 2009

Cha Cha Heels

Speaking of "doofy" things...give me cha cha heels! YEAH!

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Vintage Ad: The Erotica phone, 1984

SexphoneaThis might possibly be the stupidest ad for the dumbest product that Paco Camino has ever come across. I mean damn, just look at the doofy dipshit talking on the Erotica phone. Seriously, wow, this functional and fabulous phone was superbly sculptured by a European artist (so you know it's good) and best yet, it's priced at just a mere a $69.95 (with $5.00 shipping & handling) and it takes only 3 to 6 weeks for delivery!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Bullshit or Not! November 3, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. The King Khan & BBQ Show, Invisible Girl
2. Fake Shark Real Zombie, Meeting People is Terrible
3. Handful of Hate, You Will Bleed
4. Squid Parts, Tentacle Underpants
5. While Heaven Wept, Vast Oceans Lachrymose
6. Snot Rocket, I Wanna Go…Snot Rockin!
7. Neutral Milk Hotel, In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
8. Undersea Queef, Fart Tsunami
9. Kickstand Man, Can’t Tip Him Over
10. Various Artists, Like a Sturgeon: An Atlantic Ocean Fish Tribute to Madonna
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Legit!
1. The King Khan & BBQ Show, Invisible Girl
2. Fake Shark Real Zombie, Meeting People is Terrible
3. Handful of Hate, You Will Bleed
5. While Heaven Wept, Vast Oceans Lachrymose
7. Neutral Milk Hotel, In The Aeroplane Over The Sea

Bullshit!
4. Squid Parts, Tentacle Underpants
6. Snot Rocket, I Wanna Go…Snot Rockin!
8. Undersea Queef, Fart Tsunami
9. Kickstand Man, Can’t Tip Him Over
10. Various Artists, Like a Sturgeon: An Atlantic Ocean Fish Tribute to Madonna

Monday, November 02, 2009

Sunday, November 01, 2009