Vintage Ad: Black Velvet Whisky, 1977

Football Sunday. Dan Fouts, 1981

Jimi Hendrix, "Voodoo Chile" live at Berkeley, 1970.

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He gets older, but all these high school girls stay the same age. Yes they do. Hanging down at the Jack in the Box (conveniently located across the street from the pool hall and arcade), the Paco Camino Man draws the attention of two flirty girl scouts out to sell more than just cookies. Fulfilling their motto of “Do a good turn daily,” these horny scouts will use the buddy system to play sexy wide games and will go all the way to obtain erotic merit badges. And in a raunchy senior cadette challenge, the Paco Camino Man will hold up three middle fingers and swear to accept a positioning statement cultivating values, social conscience and self-esteem.

Vintage Ad: The Bunny Sleeper, 1976

Thanksgiving. White meat, dark meat, all will be carved.

Country Fashion Victim: Ernie Ashworth, 1973

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

Ooh baby. He’s a legendary cocksman with a sausage compass set permanently north. Inspiring the cover art for a thousand trashy romance novels, the Paco Camino Man flaunts a mythical mane of untamed hair, amber-tinted Aviator sunglasses and sans shirt, pulls off exposing his piliferous chest with a peach-colored Members Only jacket. Reeling in two smoking hot maidens using his tractor beam radar, this lustful lothario radiates animal magnetism that blows the buttons right off one chick's rayon blouse to reveal a matching seafoam Dacron bikini. Nothing like his doofus brother Cosmo, (a bumbling NYC apartment dweller living across the hall from an observational stand up comedian) The Paco Camino Man is setting sail for another yacht rocking experience.

Football Sunday. Lester Hayes covered in Stickum, 1980

Vintage Ad: Salvatori belts, wallets and watch straps, 1972

Damn fine reading material. The Jerk, 1979

The cure for swine flu is more disco.

Bullshit or Not! November 17, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Haruka Fukuhara, Kitchen Ha My Stage
2. We All Have Hooks For Hands, The Shape of Energy
3. Entombed, Christmas In Hell
4. Arsonists Get All The Girls, Portals
5. Temporary Insanity of Darkroom Familia, Woke Up Hatin’ Tha World
6. Carbon Dating, Fossils Don’t Fuck
7. Dickle, Dickle Doodle-Doo
8. Fudko Associates, Damn Wang, Your Ying is in My Yang
9. Turbo Fruits, Echo Kid
10. Fudge Plug, It’s Exactly What You Think

Legit!
1. Haruka Fukuhara, Kitchen Ha My Stage
2. We All Have Hooks For Hands, The Shape of Energy
4. Arsonists Get All The Girls, Portals
5. Temporary Insanity of Darkroom Familia, Woke Up Hatin’ Tha World
9. Turbo Fruits, Echo Kid

Bullshit!
3. Entombed, Christmas In Hell
6. Carbon Dating, Fossils Don’t Fuck
7. Dickle, Dickle Doodle-Doo
8. Fudko Associates, Damn Wang, Your Ying is in My Yang
10. Fudge Plug, It’s Exactly What You Think

"Yeh Yeh" - Georgie Fame & The Blue Flames 1965

Football Sunday. Joe Namath preps for the chicks

Damn fine listening material: Revolution soundtrack, 1968

Decadent Smut: Lay Me Odds, 1967

Vintage Ad: Tipalet flavored cigarettes, 1970

Bullshit or Not! November 10, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1.Vince Ray & The Boneshakers, Somebody’s Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight
2. Fuckpony, Let The Love Flow
3. Enmity, Vomit Forth Intestinal Excrement
4. Computer Perfection, We Wish You Well On Your Way To Hell
5. Meth Skank Whores From Lebanon, Sucks To Be You
6. Boner Ponies, Pitching A Tent For God
7. Awaiting The Autopsy, Couldn’t Tell The Bodies Apart
8. Forgone Conclusion, Make Up Your Mind Already
9. Mastard Child, Bustard Cutup
10. Fartacular, Celestial Winds of Colon
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Legit!
1. Vince Ray & The Boneshakers, Somebody’s Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight
2. Fuckpony, Let The Love Flow
3. Enmity, Vomit Forth Intestinal Excrement
4. Computer Perfection, We Wish You Well On Your Way To Hell
7. Awaiting The Autopsy, Couldn’t Tell The Bodies Apart

Bullshit!
5. Meth Skank Whores From Lebanon, Sucks To Be You
6. Boner Ponies, Pitching A Tent For God
8. Forgone Conclusion, Make Up Your Mind Already
9. Mastard Child, Bustard Cutup
10. Fartacular, Celestial Winds of Colon

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

One good look by the Paco Camino Man and he knows she’s damaged. Big time. Her shy demeanor and devil may care, long cable-knit sweater don't fool him for a sec—he’ll easily convince her they must both be crazy for wandering away from an exclusive house party in the Hamptons and squatting next to a grungy frog pond wearing white pants. Thankfully he had an extra stiff vodka & tonic to offer her as well as this sound advice, “No matter who this guy is, just remember someone better, like me, will come along to sweep you off your feet, have mad sex with you and proceed to never call again, because I’ll be too busy having mad sex with other women just like you. You know, needy and vulnerable.” The Paco Camino Man—damn it feels good to help.

Football Sunday. Walt Garrison 1973

Cha Cha Heels

Speaking of "doofy" things...give me cha cha heels! YEAH!

Vintage Ad: The Erotica phone, 1984

This might possibly be the stupidest ad for the dumbest product that Paco Camino has ever come across. I mean damn, just look at the doofy dipshit talking on the Erotica phone. Seriously, wow, this functional and fabulous phone was superbly sculptured by a European artist (so you know it's good) and best yet, it's priced at just a mere a $69.95 (with $5.00 shipping & handling) and it takes only 3 to 6 weeks for delivery!

Times are tough all over. So who wants to be a chambermaid?

Au Pair Girls, 1972

Bullshit or Not! November 3, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. The King Khan & BBQ Show, Invisible Girl
2. Fake Shark Real Zombie, Meeting People is Terrible
3. Handful of Hate, You Will Bleed
4. Squid Parts, Tentacle Underpants
5. While Heaven Wept, Vast Oceans Lachrymose
6. Snot Rocket, I Wanna Go…Snot Rockin!
7. Neutral Milk Hotel, In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
8. Undersea Queef, Fart Tsunami
9. Kickstand Man, Can’t Tip Him Over
10. Various Artists, Like a Sturgeon: An Atlantic Ocean Fish Tribute to Madonna
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Legit!
1. The King Khan & BBQ Show, Invisible Girl
2. Fake Shark Real Zombie, Meeting People is Terrible
3. Handful of Hate, You Will Bleed
5. While Heaven Wept, Vast Oceans Lachrymose
7. Neutral Milk Hotel, In The Aeroplane Over The Sea

Bullshit!
4. Squid Parts, Tentacle Underpants
6. Snot Rocket, I Wanna Go…Snot Rockin!
8. Undersea Queef, Fart Tsunami
9. Kickstand Man, Can’t Tip Him Over
10. Various Artists, Like a Sturgeon: An Atlantic Ocean Fish Tribute to Madonna

Vintage Ad: Babe fragrances, 1977

Soul Train - Don Cornelius Does it Again