WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He thinks this new vampire craze is fucking bullshit and that Robert Pattinson is a total fag. With the cranky temperament of basement dweller Arthur Spooner and Festivus founder Frank Costanza, The Paco Camino Man for centuries, has sucked the blood of hot women the old fashioned way. That means sleeping in a coffin all day, donning a cape and tuxedo at night, and turning into a bat to get around. So it’s no big surprise Bela can’t stand today’s pretty boy vampires walking around in broad daylight like a bunch of sparkle fucks, and he could give two shits about asinine crap like Twilight, True Blood and The Vampire Diaries. The only things the Paco Camino Man endorses is Bram Stoker, Count Chocula cereal and The Count from Seasame Street, whom he finds both highly entertaining and always educational.