Friday, February 29, 2008

Marginally Stone Cold Solid Black History Month Moment #978: Soul Man

Now for something lighter on this leap year day, here’s a segment from the classic 1986 film Soul Man. Teaching suburban kids everywhere about the downside of being black, Soul Man starred C. Thomas Howell as Mark Watson, a rich white kid cut off from his parents who can’t afford tuition for Harvard law school. Along with his friend Gordon (Arye Gross), Watson concocts a scheme to apply for a black scholarship and wins it. The unbelievable factor is that he takes tanning pills to achieve his new ethnicity, but regardless, his actions take away the scholarship meant for Sarah (Rae Dawn Chong), an African American single mother of the cutest kid in the world.

Viewers may recognize a young Melora Hardin, who currently plays Michael Scott’s completely damaged girlfriend Jan on The Office and James Earl Jones, the voice of CNN and Darth Vader, as a tough as nails, no nonsense law professor. And of course, Hardin's disapproving dad is none other than Leslie Nielsen of Naked Gun infamy.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Stone Cold Solid Black History Month Moment #1: Martin Luther King Jr. in Memphis, Tennessee April 1968

On April 3, 1968, Martin Luther King Jr. gave what would turn out to be his last public speaking appearance. He seemed tired and started slowly, but soon mustered up energy and a bone-chilling prophecy about his own death. It would be forever known as the "I've Been to the Mountaintop" speech. Tragically, King was senselessly assassinated the very next day by a misguided coward.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Stone Cold Black History Month Moment #18: Nina Simone live at the 1969 Harlem Cultural Festival

Singing "Ain't Got No (I Got Life)" from the musical Hair on August 17, 1969, Nina Simone headlined one of a series of free concerts held in Central Park during the summer of 1969. Documented history hasn't been kind to this rather amazing event that saw dozens of great performances from the likes of Stevie Wonder, Sly & the Family Stone, James Brown, Fifth Dimension and Mahalia Jackson. Awesome footage.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Signs of Reverse Dyslexia:

When you least expect it, reverse dyslexia can strike anyone, of any intelligence at anytime. Let’s say you’re moderating a discussion group on the broken laws of thermodynamics superceding advanced science initiatives that inadvertently perpetuate a new breed of supervillianism.

A reverse dyslexic might look at the same sentence on the teleprompter and think, “Shit, someone lost my dry cleaning? I’m fucked. Oh wait, I’m leading a discussion on the broken laws of thermodynamics superceding advanced science initiatives that perpetuate a new breed of supervillianism. Get it together man! Remember, you’re going out for drinks later with Parker Posey and her posse!”

Reverse dyslexia can be a real bitch!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Stone Cold Solid Black History Month Moment #6: The Sugar Shack by Ernie Barnes

The Sugar Shack is one of the most iconic African American images ever created on canvas. Ernie Barnes, an art major at North Carolina Central University and retired professional football player, lent this amazingly vibrant and rhythmic painting for the cover of Marvin Gaye's 1976 soul classic I Want You. Others may recognize it from the 70s TV show Good Times when J.J. passed it off as his own. Either way, it’s truly a fantastic masterpiece. I still have a crush on the ladies in red, blue & yellow. Yeeow.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Stone Cold Solid Black History Month Moment #98: Legendary Guitarist B.B. King Laments Blacks Without Soul

In this hilarious scene from the cult flick Amazon Women On The Moon B.B. King informs viewers about a tragic disorder occurring every seven minutes in this country.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Black History Month Moment #134: Youtube bans Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood, but James Brown's Celebrity Hot Tub Party breaks out in a cold sweat.

The following handwritten letter was discovered tonight crumpled up on the freezing marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

It’s a forgone conclusion I can’t make up my mind about that choice decision. Now if I could only remember what it was all about. One thing’s for sure—I’m going to go postal in my confliction resolution class with Dr. Evan Thingsout. Hey at least my therapist says my mood-swings, severe hypothermia and narcoleptic kleptomania absolutely have nothing to do with my smoking copious amounts of mind-bending loco weed, camping naked outside this winter and ignoring my unconscious ability to steal things in my sleep without paying for them. I know I’ve been tree sitting at night for 37 days, but was buying me a bar of soap some sort of elaborate, highly intricate, multi-faceted scheme designed to perhaps maybe suggest I should finally take a shower?

Hey I’m digging that new shovel we found buried,


Song of the Day:

Dengue Fever, “Tiger Phone Card”

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Stone Cold Solid Black History Month Moment #78: Power Man and Iron Fist Fight for Racial Harmony

In my native homeland, I read Power Man and Iron Fist comics. As a poorly dressed, but pioneering interracial crime-fighting duo, Power Man and Iron Fist likely inspired Stevie Wonder & Paul McCartney to write “Ebony and Ivory.” Um yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Luke Cage (Powerman): a child of the streets…Daniel Rand (Iron Fist): a son of the mystic city of K’un-Lun…Two men from different worlds—both reborn with strength and power beyond belief! And together, no one can stop them!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Stone Cold Sobering Black History Month Moment #4: Marvin Gaye "Life Is For Learning," 1980

Marvin was a hurting soul by 1981. His divorce to Anna Gordy haunted him and his sexual muse Janice grew tired of the tortured artist addicted to cocaine. The man in the courtroom at the end of the song is Marvin Gaye Sr., who in a fit of confused rage, shot and killed Marvin Gaye Jr. after a heated argument at his home on April 1, 1984.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Stone Cold Solid Black History Month Moment #27: The Jacksons 1980 video masterpiece "Can You Feel It"

Between his killer solo album Off The Wall and his first nose job, Michael Jackson helps out the brothers Jackson one last time (not counting lame 1984 reunion tour).

Friday, February 15, 2008

Vintage Ad #16: Apeco Roll-O-Matic Copymaker, 1969

Just wait until the gals in the typing pool hear about this!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Stone Cold Solid Black History Month Moment #8: Bob Beamon at the 1968 Mexico City Olympics

Bob Beamon destroyed the existing long jump record not by two inches, but almost two feet in one amazing leap. It would take two decades for anyone to even come close to challenging the unbelievable distance of 29 feet 2 and 1/2 half inches.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Vintage Ad #63: Ben-Gay Pain Relieving Ointment, 1981

What’s wrong with this ad? For starters, it’s for Ben-Gay which is funny enough. But this ad is even gayer than usual with Stan here running limp-wristed to San Francisco (of all places) using up 3.3 pounds of Ben-Gay ALL THE WAY.

Ben-Gay. The worst named product ever (Not that there’s anything wrong with that).

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Right On & Get Down: Stone Cold Solid Black History Month Moment #23: Mister Robinson meets Mr. T

Eddie Murphy at his finest. By the way boys and girls, the new word of the day is "Pain."

Friday, February 08, 2008

The following handwritten letter was recently found stuck on the ice baked marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

It just doesn’t add up, but the numbers don’t lie—I’m down for the count in my numerology class. When my tally calculator was 86’d and the magic abacus Merlin sold me fractured falling off an enumeration truck proving statistical tabulation impossible, I summarily played the odds and raised the decibels another notch. Oh yeah, that reminds me, did you catch Dakota Manning or I mean Eli Fanning in Super Bowl XXXMVLII? I like, get so confused when I watch boring college football and War of the Worlds on my stolen iPhone secretly financed by the Nicaraguans. I also think those “One in a Million” Hannah Montana tickets might be fake after all. Mine say ‘Wendy Wyoming.’

That’s the last time I trust a chipper potato scalper from Idaho,


Song of the Day:

Medeski Martin & Wood, “Let’s Go Everywhere”

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Right On & Get Down: Stone Cold Solid Black History Month Moment #6: James Brown and Muhammed Ali, 1974

Concert clip from the 1996 boxing documentary When We Were Kings--good. James Brown's outfit choice--bad. Not super bad. Just bad. His wardrobe consultant failed him miserably with a God Father of Soul bedazzler cummerbund.

Decadent Smut: Christina's World, 1980

Beautiful heiress Christina van Bell embarks on an erotic search for the world's supreme sex object. From the lush beauty of Tahiti to the steaming splendor of Bogota, from the slinky hideaways of Paris to the busy boudoirs of Peking, Christina is relentless in her craving to experience each candidate before making the most intimate--and possibly the most orgasmic--decision of her life.

Magazine owner Christina van Bell adds a new feature to her glamorous publication as she launches a very personal search. Her qualification in this quest is an uninhibited understanding of life and the human libido. And her goal--to find that person who would challenge her supremely wanton worldliness. Relentlessly eager in her pursuit, she permeates the public facades of famous persons and probes their deepest desires and most lascivious longings, until ultimately she reaches the most terrifying, untouched core of human passion.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

The :20 Minute Workout in just :10 minutes!

Why in the world would anyone cancel this show? Eye of the tiger, ladies.