Wednesday, June 06, 2007

The following handwritten letter was recently discovered on the sun-drenched marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

Good news! My land swimming training program is a real splash. Course my neighbors think I’m all wet walking around on dry pavement wearing goggles and paddling my arms through the air. Hey that sandpaper vibrator Ty Pennington gave you really rubbed me the wrong way, but surprisingly it worked wonders smoothing the surface of my wooden dildo sculptures. Funny, maybe that’s why I found it in stashed in your toolbox and not the back of your nightstand with all your other fun zone appliances. Oh yeah, did I mention I might’ve accidentally ruined your clothes when I mistakenly threw them all out on the lawn and unintentionally watered them with a garden hose? Don’t worry though-- I’m still expecting a free $25 Macy’s gift card just for clicking a myspace banner ad and simply entering my social security number!

Heavy ass weightlessness is wreaking havoc on my gravitational pull,


Song of the Day:
Van Halen "You're No Good" live 1979

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