Dear Lisa,
I’m still trying to rhyme ‘homicidal maniac’ with something sexy for that Tampax songwriting contest. I’m also struggling to rhyme ‘rape kit’ in a ballad about a long-distance relationship that turns into forbidden 'Ain't no mountain high enough' passion in pre-1941 Yugoslavia, when Croats, Slovenes and the Kingdom of Serbs lived in an uneasy, but copasetic peace. Or wait, maybe I was excited to hear about Heidi Montag’s clothing line (which I must put on my body), or it was her intention to record a CD. Finally, a once-unknown pseudo-celebrity starring in a partially scripted reality program can record a decent Christian album. Anyway, if I win the Tampax gig, I get a complete kitchen remodeling makeover! Which is awesome! If I, uh…had a kitchen. Huh. I don’t even have a house, let alone an apartment. Hmm, wow, starting to think it was foolish to enter if I didn’t actually have a kitchen.
Damn, I’ll probably never get that non-refundable $25 entry fee back,
Kristin
Song of the Day:
Utah Phillips & Ani DiFranco, “Bridges”
Monday, June 30, 2008
The following handwritten letter was recently found on the steps of McKinley Hall:
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Video Flashback: Kentucky Fried Movie, 1977
In this scene from the cult classic Kentucky Fried Movie, a couple intently follows along to an instructional Joy of Sex album. Yes, Big Jim Slade is included just in case.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Yeahh! Aerosmiff!! Aerosmith! The 1978 Texxas Jam.
"Lick and a Promise." In other words, the Internet is still 20 years away.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
The following handwritten letter was found crumpled on the steps of McKinley Hall after a passionate rally for diabetic cats:
Dear Lisa,
I’m investing in a footwear art studio that only makes ceramic flip-flops. They come in two different kiln-inspired styles—flat thong ashtray glaze trekkers and hand-painted flowerpot ankle-cuppers. Sure they’re clunky and impossible to walk in, but all sales go to help support high arches of low stature. Hey if the tables were on the other feet, then would you still turn your best foot forward, take a step back, and walk this way like Aerosmith suggests? After experimenting with Cialis as a powerful diuretic, I’ve discovered it now burns when I pee and I routinely have erections lasting longer than four hours (which is obviously weird, since ya' know, I don’t have a penis). Like at all.
Hey, I think I’m ready to watch my first episode of LOST. Anything I should know?
Kristin
Song of the Day:
Supergrass, “Diamond Hoo Ha Man”
