Vintage Ad: Smirnoff vodka, 1980

Paco Camino swears higher rock education is no bullshit.

And now a word from our sponsors: Magnavox

Football Sunday. That guy (aka Nordberg) 1973

Country Fashion Victims: The Wilburn Brothers, 1974

Wholesome Christmas with The Cunninghams. Chuck too!

Holiday ice hockey with Evel Knievel and Donny & Marie

Vintage Ad: Johnnie Walker Red blended whisky, 1971

This Christmas, don't pay for cable TV!

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He’s got life by the reins. Taking an exhilarating break from a weeklong Christmas party at his majestic mountain mansion, the Paco Camino Man makes a booze run into town on an irresistibly charming one-horse sleigh. While loading up cases of premium liquor, imported beer, and archival wine, this adventurous sweater stud runs into a few fun-loving foxes who’d love to come back to his place for some naked reindeer games. Incredibly, these three sexy wise women bring forth many gifts. “I give expert Swedish massages while contorting my body into forbidden sexual positions,” said Inga. “I’m a master chef and baker that’s also won two world pole dancing titles,” said Cookie. “And I’ve got a satchel full of Columbian joints rolled by Rollie Fingers himself,” cooed Mary Jane. It’s always a good year when you’re a Paco Camino Man.

Football Sunday. Chuck Foreman, 1973

Va-Va-Voom: Veruschka

Damn fine listening material: Bossa in Italy

Vintage Ad: Pierre Cardin mens knee high hose, 1973

Bullshit or Not! December 15, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Thulsa Doom, She Fucks Me!
2. El Salvador Dali, The Persistence of Memory in Central America
3. Various Artists, Yule Tide Me Over: A Tiger Woods Transgression Christmas
4. Beans On Toast, Standing On A Chair
5. Hot Poop, The Hot Scoop on the Best Shit
6. Nurse With Wound, Paranoia In Hi-Fi
7. Forbidden Fruit, Must. Have. Now.
8. Negative Reaction, Under The Ancient Penalty
9. Travis “Moonchild” Haddix, If I’m One, You’re One Too
10. Tungle Wang, Floople Town Diaries
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Legit!
1. Thulsa Doom, She Fucks Me!
4. Beans On Toast, Standing On A Chair
6. Nurse With Wound, Paranoia In Hi-Fi
8. Negative Reaction, Under The Ancient Penalty
9. Travis “Moonchild” Haddix, If I’m One, You’re One Too

Bullshit!
2. El Salvador Dali, The Persistence of Memory in Central America
3. Various Artists, Yule Tide Me Over: A Tiger Woods Transgression Christmas
5. Hot Poop, The Hot Scoop on the Best Shit
7. Forbidden Fruit, Must. Have. Now.
10. Tungle Wang, Floople Town Diaries

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

Despite the cold temperature outside, women burn hot inside for the Paco Camino Man. Maybe it’s his Brylcreem snow shield hair or the way he wears his stretch-fit polyester ribbed turtlenecks coordinated with tonal urban overcoats, but attractive women everywhere just want to bone his ass. And every Christmas this unassuming stud proves ‘going green’ isn’t merely a fad; it’s a way of life. Using just three pieces of tape and some yarn to wrap his big package, both Heidi and Rita can’t help fantasize about another naked fireside chat on his bearskin rug. Dude, better call the acquisitions office because you’ll be working on some delicate skin mergers clear through New Year’s.

Football Sunday.

Vintage Ad: JOB menthol cigarette papers, 1976

All Paco Camino wants for Christmas is a girl on a bike

Vintage Ad: Sears Thumbs Up corduroy jeans, 1977

Bullshit or Not! December 8, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Rockin’ Bonnie & the Rot Gut Shots, Cocktail Jubilee
2. Turdifier, Brown Is The New Green
3. Enter Santaman, A Christmas Tribute To Metallica
4. Cowboy Prostitutes, Let Me Have Your Heart
5. Pink Floyd, Candy Canes At The Gates Of Dawn
6. Japanther, Skuffed Up My Huffy
7. Tex Cowboy & the Stabby Ranch Hands, Them’s Fightin’ Words
8. Cankle Fever, Grow A Pair
9. Jon Dee Graham & the Fighting Cocks, It’s Not As Bad As It Looks
10. Hellmouth, Destroy Everything, Worship Nothing
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Legit!
1. Rockin’ Bonnie & the Rot Gut Shots, Cocktail Jubilee
4. Cowboy Prostitutes, Let Me Have Your Heart
6. Japanther, Skuffed Up My Huffy
9. Jon Dee Graham & the Fighting Cocks, It’s Not As Bad As It Looks
10. Hellmouth, Destroy Everything, Worship Nothing

Bullshit!
2. Turdifier, Brown Is The New Green
3. Enter Santaman, A Christmas Tribute To Metallica
5. Pink Floyd, Candy Canes At The Gates Of Dawn
7. Tex Cowboy & the Stabby Ranch Hands, Them’s Fightin’ Words
8. Cankle Fever, Grow A Pair

Decadent Smut: Nicole Touches the Stars, 1983

Lights ...Camera...Nicole: Nicole brings her special magic to the glitter of Hollywood when she stars in an X-rated excursion into ecstasy. From the beach at Malibu to the boulevards of Paris, she exhausts every route to forbidden pleasure known to man and woman. There has never been a love goddess hotter than Nicole...with a sigh so scorching and a touch so torrid that she burns up the screen.

Football Sunday. Jim Bertelsen, 1974

An angry wish list item from a cranky old street man. Really.

"Anyone with an iPod can suck my ass. I want a Steropack, motherfucker. It plays cassettes, weighs only three and half pounds and costs a mere $185. Stuff that shit in your goddamn stocking this year!"

Vintage Ad: Landlubber clothing, 1972

Decadent Smut: Hooker, 1969

Bullshit or Not! December 1, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Fat Freddy’s Drop, Based On a True Story
2. Cephalotripsy , Uterovaginal Insertion of Extirpated Anomalies
3. Rocking Dildos, Horny Hit Parade
4. Buttastic Ass-Slappers, Fine, Then You Explain How The Pinecone Got There
5. Motorcycle Girl, She Got The Boots, But She Ain’t Got No Bike
6. Sadistik Exekution, We Are Death Fukk You
7. Pot Smoke Sandstorm, Lungs of Fury Meet Window Blowback
8. Witchfinder General, Death Penalty
9. Good Grades & The Eggheads, Extra Credit Brown Nose
10. Hair Pie, Pan Down, We Want Hair Pie!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Legit!
1. Fat Freddy’s Drop, Based On a True Story
2. Cephalotripsy , Uterovaginal Insertion of Extirpated Anomalies
3. Rocking Dildos, Horny Hit Parade
6. Sadistik Exekution, We Are Death Fukk You
8. Witchfinder General, Death Penalty

Bullshit!
4. Buttastic Ass-Slappers, Fine, Then You Explain How The Pinecone Got There
5. Motorcycle Girl, She Got The Boots, But She Ain’t Got No Bike
7. Pot Smoke Sandstorm, Lungs of Fury Meet Window Blowback
9. Good Grades & The Eggheads, Extra Credit Brown Nose
10. Hair Pie, Pan Down, We Want Hair Pie!