Paco Camino will return when he feels better.

What a freakin' whiner. Mildred should've slapped him and put a roofie in his Nyquil.

Damn fine listening material, 1965

Vintage Ad: Jesus Jeans, 1976

What's worse? Using Christ to sell jeans or ripping off the CBS television logo?

Decadent Smut: The Libertines, 1973

THE LIBERTINES was a private club on campus where depravity was part
of the initiation. A searing novel of big-city learning and its rebel young...

Paco Rocks! The Plasmatics "Masterplan" live 1981

The Plasmatics completely defile purse-clutching housewives who made the mistake of wandering into Tom Snyder's Tomorrow Show studio on the wrong day in 1981.

Stupid copyright. Here's some replacement W.O.W.

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

Down at the racetrack he’s known as the horse whisperer bookie. Some folks maintain he’s the first sign of the leisure suit apocalypse. Hee-haw all you want, but you can bet good money this plaid stallion always entices foxy fillies, and he certainly doesn’t need binoculars to see this fine-ass thoroughbred jockeying hard for his conquering attention. The Paco Camino Man: hung like a full furlong, he’s the odds-on favorite to break in any woman and victoriously ride her all the way to the finish.

Marathon Man

"Don't give up.. don't ever give up." Even if you're running for Satan.

Vintage Ad: Maxi-Lash mascara, 1978

Yep, that's Erin Gray looking sexy in the morning.

Decadent Smut: Society Hooker, 1974

Paco shows you how to walk the dog

Paco Rocks! The Cars "Nightspots" live 1978

Vintage Ad: e-z wider rolling papers, 1981

R.I.P. Patrick Swayze

Vintage Porn Poster: Jezebel, 1968

Dean Martin - Blue Moon

Lyn Collins - Think (about it)

Vintage Ad: Lew Margram leisure suits, 1975

Cheap Trick Budokan commercials on Japanese TV, 1978

The 1979 Aston Martin Volante

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He’s an international photographer who calls the shots. A well-dressed mod that knows how to load a camera (with Kodak film of course), his dark tourist magnetism always lowers eyeglasses and hikes skirts. Noticing two marvelous women sharing a bottle of wine on a warm fall afternoon, the Paco Camino Man could use even the cheesiest of lines and still get laid. “Sei il motivo per cui hanno inventato il ghioccio per raffreddare!” How’s he do it? Because he’s a crotch rockateer hung like a Galliano bottle who digs Harvey Wallbangers, Golden Cadillacs, Flaming Lamborghinis and Rusty Trombones, which are often popular in Swedish pubs and sex farms in Amsterdam.

Easy Rider: Riding down the highway of desire

And now a word from our sponsors: Martini & Rossi. 1978

Paco Rocks! Es Señor O'Brien's padre a country music star?

Country legends Jim & Jesse McReynolds. Is Jesse Conando's secret mystery dad?

Decadent Smut: Emmanuelle, 1971

Vintage Ad: Napier Lariat chain, 1978

The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour: "Half-Breed," 1973