Sunday, December 30, 2007

Krofft Supershow, 1976. With shit like this on Saturday mornings, it's no wonder kids in the 70s turned to drugs.

Hey it's me, Kaptain Kool and the Kongs! Super Chick. Turkey. Nashville. And Flatbush. And the boy howdiest show on earth--The Krofft Supershow! Starring Wonderbug, Dr. Shrinker and Electra Woman & Dyna Girl.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Dry and Clear Acne Medication, 1977

Fuck you Proactiv! This shit has Exfoliator N-12 and only takes five days to work!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Monday, December 17, 2007

The Star Wars Holiday Special

No you’re not hallucinating (uh, unless you’re zooming on acid, pink ladies or tainted fish larva, then yeah, you might be), but what you are seeing is a condensed version of the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special. Two hours of this crap exists. You don’t want to see it. George Lucas would rather it disappeared forever. Chewbacca's family? Bea fucking Arthur? Jefferson fucking Starship? What the hell is happening here?

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The following handwritten letter was found crumpled up on the snow-encrusted marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

Can you believe that our lowly serf bitch housemaid from Southern Ecuador had the smug know-it-all gall to call me, me—the biggest pompous goddess of immodest ego—a stuck-up and conceited primadonna? Who does that inconsequential peon think she is compared to my regal status as queen of swelled-head self-importance? Hey did you clear your throat mucus into my moisture-wicking workout socks again? It’s either that or my inside-out cat finally emptied his digestive sack after weeks of storing up prescription strength fish chum cat dinners in his intestines. Just realized Christmas is on for December 25th again. It’s like so confusing every year. Say that reminds me, can complex math formulas be used as analogies for physical determinism?

This is the month with New Years eve, right?


Song of the Day:

Japanty, “Koi no hareruya”

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


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That's right--I like my spiritual advisors to drive Hondas.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Star Crash, 1979. Obviously nothing like Star Wars.

This space fart of a movie is so bad, you’ll be hard-pressed to finish watching the trailer. Observe the Star Wars-like theme music, gratuitous use of lightsabers and talk of a "weapon so vast, so huge, that it would take a whole planet to conceal it.” Um, you mean like a Death Star?

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Sunday, December 02, 2007

The Cult "Love Removal Machine" 1987

Ian Astbury: A modern day Jim Morrison reincarnated on Whistle Test.