WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He’s a rockin' New Year’s Eve stud that’s gonna party like it’s 1979. But regardless of year (or even decade), every night seems special when the Paco Camino Man is on the scene. Strutting through the world’s most exclusive nightclubs with his classic good looks, cocksure attitude and fine ass tuxedos, this playboy sex panther always brings the hottest babes back to his lavish mansion estate. Sure it’s nearly four o'clock in the morning, but for the Paco Camino Man, the evening’s just getting started.

Time For the Gifts to Open Their Humans!

Vintage Ad: Lane Sweetheart Chest, 1972

The Six Million Dollar Man Christmas Adventure

Vintage Ad: Columbia Records and Tapes, 1970

Merry Christmas from The Sanduskys

Christmas Wish List: Schlitz Sweaters!

Vintage Ad: Hammonton Park Clothes, 1982

Bob & Gene. "It's not what you know (it's who you know)."

Football Sunday. Marcus Allen, 1982

Awesome! Johnny "Guitar" Watson live TV 1977

Decadent Smut: Six Six Six, 1974

Football Sunday. Earl Campbell, 1979

Tennis Anyone?

Vintage Ad: Chiquita Bananas, 1970

Voulez-Vous (ABBA): Nils Landgren Funk Unit

Sexy pillow fights are always panty optional.

Decadent Smut: Christina's Quest, 1976

Elegant millionairess Christina van Bell discovers that her first affair is a mere aperitif to an international banquet of sensual pleasures. The feast is both lavish and lascivious as Christina travels first-class around the world to learn the identity of the most important lover in her life.

Drink and drugs had blurred the identity of Christina's first lover at that chic New York coctail party, but nothing could dim the ecstasy of the sexual experience. Now, years later, obsessed by the memory of that supreme pleasure, Christina is determined to find the one person who had once satisfied her so completely.

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

Oh he’s found Nemo all right. Using his deep maritime experience (from taming bearded clams to hunting down and killing a vindictive white whale), he’s now making waves in the oceanography community as the inventor of a gigantic penis pump named the Blowfish. Really now, this guy makes Troy McClure’s fish fetish look all wet. Steve Zissou & Aquaman think he’s a total freak of nature, and Jacques Cousteau must be rolling in his Davey Jones’ locker at the thought of the Paco Camino Man smoking coral reefers and conducting the first ever fish four-way with two sexy scuba assistants.

I'll be wonderful, do just what I'm told. I'm your puppet.

She comes with some baggage, but it ain't no big deal.

Vintage Ad: Salvatori belts, 1972

Decadent Smut: Eros In Orbit, 1973

Tyrone Ashley: His lapels can kick your lapels asses!

I've been waiting here for you Paco, where have you been?

Damn fine Halloween reading & listening material.

Ramones, I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement

Decadent Smut: The Crazy Ladies, 1969

Vintage Ad: STRIP Swinger Game, 1975

Kinuko Y. Craft: Rainy Night in Paris, 1980

Serial Mom: The Early Years. Oh, it's on Bitch!

Decadent Smut: Xaviera Meets Marilyn Chambers, 1976

Vintage Ad: Rod Stewart for Altec/Lansing Sound, 1976

Decadent Smut: The Sins of Philip Fleming, 1961

Vintage Porn Poster: Devil's Due, 1972

Vintage Ad: L&M cigarettes, 1976

The 1973 Dansko Sonja. Denmark patents hot leather clogs.

Bullshit or Not! Young Money Matters magazine, 1977

Damn fine listening material: Fausto Papetti Sax, 1975

Decadent Smut: The Big Snatch, 1974

Her L.U.S.T. mission is to capture the plans for the takeover of Thailand. Using her thighs to impress the Thais, Eve goes to Bangkok--and gets all she wants! Uncovering The Big Snatch is right up Eve's alley and she loves every minute of it!

Vintage Ad: Cher debut album, Take Me Home, 1979

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

Out on the town entertaining two foxy ladies at Café de Flore in Saint-Germain-des-Prés, The Paco Camino Man makes Ron Burgundy look like a foreign street bum. A wise man once wrote, “White is a victorious color, whether the situation is physical or intellectual.” Following Cool Fucker protocol, the Paco Camino Man triumphantly dons a white flannel jacket and Shantung trousers from Andre Balzac, wears sweet Charles Jourdan black & white patent leather shoes, and accessorizes with a Cerruti silk tie and custom handkerchief by Charvet. Rocking the shit out of the latest imported NYC fashions, the Paco Camino Man is not only fashion fierce, but he's a card-carrying master practitioner of gentlemanly sexual & social graces in any country or territory.

Decadent Smut: Christina’s Hunger, 1977

AN EXOTIC FEAST OF SEXUAL INDULGENCE ~ Sexy, wealthy
Christina van Bell, as wanton as she is wanted, indulges herself in a gourmet's
feast of sensual pleasures as she reigns over a fabulous penthouse restaurant
in Manhattan--seducing her international admirers with a cuisine of such
elegance that it is surpassed only by herself.

Meat Loaf! Paco Camino's new coed beer league shortstop.

Gonna grab some afternoon delight.

Vintage Ad: Benson & Hedges 100s, 1976

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He’s fucking nailing the entrance to his 25th high school reunion. One thing's damn certain---he’s aged amazingly well. And his stunning wife looks exactly as she did when they first met as teen extras during the filming of Valley Girl. But back to tonight. Arriving in style, the Paco Camino Man is impeccably dressed in a raw silk dinner jacket and a cooling cotton, wing-collared formal shirt with killer front pin tucks. She’s wearing 'Glamorous Life,' a sexy, low-cut, gold lamé dress from the funky Sheila E. Collection. Almost like a movie, he’s a lock to win the Tom Cruise look-alike contest and no longer needs to borrow girls underpants to fake-prove he scored with some fully aged sophomore meat. Ever the romantic stud, the Paco Camino Man earlier today sax-serenaded his wife on the hood of his black 1967 restored Camaro parked at home plate at Dodger Stadium, and later tonight, the sexy couple will stop by Spicoli’s mansion for a smoke. In the morning, they'll all head on over to London to jam with The Stones!

Vintage porn poster: Female Athletes, 1977

Damn fine listening material: K-Tel's Music Express

Vintage Ad: Beautiful People Unlimited, 1973

Damn fine listening material. KISS ALIVE II, 1977

Vintage Ad: Funky clothing, 1978

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He’s a thrill-seeking pussy magnet with a hard-on for Baja desert sailing. No doubt, he just loves getting blown. By warm, stiff winds of course. Why, what're you thinking? Oh sure, he gets plenty of that too. In fact, his gear stick is often so wet, he has to spend time in the arid desert just to keep his massive erections in harmonious balance with nature. Women don’t call him ‘Kickstand’ for nothing—he’s certainly in no danger of ever tipping over when he’s totally stoked. Speeding over the cracked desert floor with hot chicks in his lap really puts the wind in his sails, and for this handsome Paco Camino Man, he’s about to successfully circumnavigate yet another fantastic voyage.