Happy New Year! 1980 is going to rock!

Bullshit or Not! December 30, 2008 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. End, Presents A Girl Called Trouble
2. Phoebe Killdeer & The Short Straws, Weather’s Coming
3. Twilight Sad, Killed My Parents And Hit The Road
4. Jack Meoff, Jack Be Quick ‘Cause Mom’s Pulling In The Driveway
5. Freddie Cruger, Just Chillin’ In The Spot
6. The Ricardo Montalbans, Vincent Ludwig’s Fantasy Island
7. Eyeballin’ Torpedoes, Los Pobres Diablos
8. Spanky & The Perpetrators, Fistful of Delicious Ass Sandwich
9. Flunkin’ Calculus, Mathematically Still Alive
10. Reverend Sweat Leaf, Worship at the Dopethrone

Legit!
1. End, End Presents A Girl Called Trouble
2. Phoebe Killdeer & The Short Straws, Weather’s Coming
3. Twilight Sad, Killed My Parents And Hit The Road
5. Freddie Cruger, Just Chillin’ In The Spot
7. Eyeballin’ Torpedoes, Los Pobres Diablos

Bullshit!
4. Jack Meoff, Jack Be Quick ‘Cause Mom’s Pulling In The Driveway
6. The Ricardo Montalbans, Vincent Ludwig’s Fantasy Island
8. Spanky & The Perpetrators, Fistful of Delicious Ass Sandwich
9. Flunkin’ Calculus, Mathematically Still Alive
10. Reverend Sweat Leaf, Worship at the Dopethrone

And now a word from our sponsors. The Hair Wiz

Vintage Ad: Camel cigarettes, 1974

Video Flashback: Bee Gees, "Night Fever"

Decadent Smut: Christina’s Search, 1978

AN EROTIC VOYAGE INTO UNKNOWN WORLDS OF ECSTASY AND POSSESSION. Beautiful heiress Christina van Bell embarks on a delicious odyssey in search of the meaning and significance of her pleasure-sated life. Her worldwide journey develops into undreamed-of adventures in Africa, Haiti, Ibiza and other far-flung and exotic places, and Christina is voluptuously--and eagerly--entwined in the ultimate glories of passionate excess.

Damn fine holiday listening material

Vintage Ad: Kijafa cherry wine, 1974

KISS Saves Santa!

In case you missed it earlier, I got my own copy of KISS Saves Santa!

Bullshit or Not! December 23, 2008 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. The Rampton Release Date, Relax You’re Nearly Dead
2. Grimey Bruce, Creepin’ While You Sleep
3. Martin and the Martians, David and the Davidians
4. Slayer, Christmas & New Year In The Abyss
5. Half Nelson, Your Throat Ain’t No Match For My Death Grip
6. Leng T’che & Fuck the Facts, Split
7. Various Artists, Ice-T Gangsta String Tribute
8. Captain Concho, From The Hills To the Plains
9. Dub Scouts, Hailblazers
10. Various Artists, Hi-NRG Tribute to Wham!

Legit!
1. The Rampton Release Date, Relax You’re Nearly Dead
2. Grimey Bruce, Creepin’ While You Sleep
6. Leng T’che & Fuck the Facts, Split
8. Captain Concho, From The Hills To the Plains
9. Dub Scouts, Hailblazers

Bullshit!
3. Martin and the Martians, David and the Davidians
4. Slayer, Christmas & New Year In The Abyss
5. Half Nelson, Your Throat Ain’t No Match For My Death Grip
7. Various Artists, Hi-NRG Tribute to Wham!
10. Various Artists, Ice-T Gangsta String Tribute

Fu Manchu for no reason other than they rock. So hard.

"Coyote Duster" live at the Troubadour on the evening of April 5, 2008.

Santa Pez: a fine way to say Merry Christmas

And now a word from our sponsors.

Vintage Ad: Dr. Grabow pre-smoked pipes, 1971

Sessions Presents: A Peter Griffin Christmas

Vintage Ad: Alka-Seltzer, 1979

Center Video Center lights up the holidays

All I want for Christmas is a VCR the size of a suitcase.

Big fat Christmas gift idea #27

Vintage Ad: Chesterfield cigarettes, 1950

A ribald rendition of Jingle Bell Rock

Jingle whore, jingle whore, jingle whore, cock
Jingle whores swing and jingle whores ring
Blowing and throwing up bushels of fun
Now the jingle hop has begun

Jingle whore, jingle whore, jingle whore, cock
Jingle whores chime in jingle whore time
Pole dancing and hooking in jingle Whore Square
In the lusty air

What a bright time, it’s the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle whore time is a swell time
To go Astro-gliding in a one-horse sleigh

Giddy up jingle whore, pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and-a-mingle in the jingling back seat

That’s the jingle whore
That’s the jingle whore
That’s the jingle whore
That’s the jingle whore cock

Bullshit or Not! December 16, 2008 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Lexy & K-Paul, Komisch Elektronisch
2. Baby Rasta and Gringo, The Comeback
3. Satan, Court in the Act
4. Bun B and Slim Thug, Street Bosses
5. Carcass, Necroticism: Descanting the Insalubrious
6. Potbelleez, Potbelleez
7. Nightmare on Antstreet, Nightmare on Antstreet
8. Freekey Zekey, Henny and a Cigarette
9. Ha Ha the Moose, Alce En Vivo De Los Muertos
10. Jegsy Dodd & the Original Sinners, Loquacious, Loquacious, Loquacious

Legit!
1. Lexy & K-Paul, Komisch Elektronisch
2. Baby Rasta and Gringo, The Comeback
3. Satan, Court in the Act
4. Bun B and Slim Thug, Street Bosses
5. Carcass, Necroticism: Descanting the Insalubrious
6. Potbelleez, Potbelleez
7. Nightmare on Antstreet, Nightmare on Antstreet
8. Freekey Zekey, Henny and a Cigarette
9. Ha Ha the Moose, Alce En Vivo De Los Muertos
10. Jegsy Dodd & the Original Sinners, Loquacious, Loquacious, Loquacious

Bullshit!
None! Sorry for the fake out. Feeling lazy.

Charlie Brown Jihad Christmas

Vintage Ad: Crow light whiskey, 1973

Elizabeth Montgomery: US savings bonds make great gifts

The following handwritten letter was recently discovered on the wintry marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

I’m like totally digging the new Old Spice industrial strength deodorant, except it makes my pits burn like flesh-eating acid and I smell like a musty sack of jock straps, but at least my elbows no longer have rivers of sweat streaming past them to my hands, which fuck up my dope ball-handling skills on the playground. No teen spirit here. I’ve also found that farting into my Uggs keeps my hands warm during class, except now my feet are cold without having boots on. I suppose I should get some mittens and then I could transfer them to my feet. Or whatever. I’m just not thinking straight since my freak obsession with The Hills has spun out of control. I’m blinded with irrational rage because Heidi married that stupid fuckwad Spencer, plus I’m slowly getting the sneaking suspicion that everyone’s jobs are fake. Seriously, these girls shouldn’t even be driving.

“You are tearing me apart, Lisa!”

Kristin

Song of the Day:

Ice-T, “Rhyme Syndicate”

R.I.P. Bettie Page

Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!

Vintage Ad: J&B Scotch, 1971

Bullshit or Not! December 9, 2008 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Mr. Tube and the Flying Objects, Listen Up
2. Pink Floyd, Candy Canes at the Gates of Dawn
3. Gonads, Live Free Die Free
4. Hot Moves, Funkin’ You To Death
5. Grave in the Sky, Cutlery Hits China
6. Various Artists, Christmas in Crapville
7. Gruesome Stuff Relish, Teenage Giallo Grind
8. Jeffree Star, Cupcakes Taste Like Violence
9. Oversmoke, "Say, Veronica, Does France Have The Internet?”
10. Julius Moonglow, Atomic Milkshake

Legit!
1. Mr. Tube and the Flying Objects, Listen Up
3. Gonads, Live Free Die Free
5. Grave in the Sky, Cutlery Hits China
7. Gruesome Stuff Relish, Teenage Giallo Grind
8. Jeffree Star, Cupcakes Taste Like Violence

Bullshit!
2. Pink Floyd, Candy Canes at the Gates of Dawn
4. Hot Moves, Funkin’ You To Death
6. Various Artists, Christmas in Crapville
9. Oversmoke, "Say, Veronica, Does France Have The Internet?”
10. Julius Moonglow, Atomic Milkshake

They Like it Bruno!

Video Flashback: 1941

Damn fine listening material: Skaterdater, 1966

KISS Saves Santa

Vintage Ad: Clairol beauty products, 1974

Bullshit or Not! December 2, 2008 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. (Some) Assembly Required, Dreaming Big Will Only Give You Nightmares
2. The Doors, Christmas with The Doors: Celebration of the Heat Miser
3. Mr. Shit, The Bad, The Good and the Ugly
4. Jingle Dogs, Puppy Holidays
5. Uterus, From You To Us
6. Peepo Gotcha, Purple Stank
7. Honeybees, Hive Jive
8. Audio Sex, Female Intuition
9. Jingle Gerbils, Coming Down Your Chimney
10. On the Surface, Down Deep

Legit!
1. (Some) Some Assembly Required, Dreaming Big Will Only Give You Nightmares
3. Mr. Shit, The Bad, The Good and the Ugly
4. Jingle Dogs, Puppy Holidays
7. Honeybees, Hive Jive
8. Audio Sex, Female Intuition

Bullshit!
2. The Doors, Christmas with The Doors: Celebration of the Heat Miser
5. Uterus, From You To Us
6. Peepo Gotcha, Purple Stank
9. Jingle Gerbils , Coming Down Your Chimney
10. On the Surface, Down Deep