The following handwritten letter was found crumpled near the sunny steps of McKinley Hall:
Dear Lisa,
Soccer has been a blast except for our goddamn narcoleptic goalkeeper who keeps falling asleep on corner kicks, free kicks and shootouts. Otherwise she’s fucking awesome! I too know what it’s like to have a crippling disease since contracting conjunctive gingivitis from cat yodeling in the back alleys of New York City. If only I was wearing an IUD this could’ve been prevented. Identification: Underage Dentistry medical tags of course. What were you thinking? Hey my therapist says I need to start stopping my starting stop start-up post haste. Yeah, I gotta get going on that. Hey I can’t wait to get stupid at the moronic imbecile-a-thon for dumb retarded idiots and assholic dipshits.
When I stand next to dumpsters you can barely smell my trench mouth,
Kristin
Song of the Day:
Z-Trip, “Immigrant Noise RMX”
Monday, June 25, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Make Love Not War
Oh, excuse me Ricky. Ricky, I did see what you were doing. It felt good didn’t it? It’s all right; we all have feelings like this sometimes. I’m just glad you’re doing this in the privacy of your own room. When you’re a little bit older we’ll have to talk more about these feelings and what causes them, and how we can control these feelings. I’m sorry I intruded on your privacy. I’ll be sure to knock next time. Okay?
Thursday, June 07, 2007
end of ze world
brought to you by my 22 yr old friend. Happy Birthday Ivanka! (real identity shall remain confidential)
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
The following handwritten letter was recently discovered on the sun-drenched marble steps of McKinley Hall:
Dear Lisa,
Good news! My land swimming training program is a real splash. Course my neighbors think I’m all wet walking around on dry pavement wearing goggles and paddling my arms through the air. Hey that sandpaper vibrator Ty Pennington gave you really rubbed me the wrong way, but surprisingly it worked wonders smoothing the surface of my wooden dildo sculptures. Funny, maybe that’s why I found it in stashed in your toolbox and not the back of your nightstand with all your other fun zone appliances. Oh yeah, did I mention I might’ve accidentally ruined your clothes when I mistakenly threw them all out on the lawn and unintentionally watered them with a garden hose? Don’t worry though-- I’m still expecting a free $25 Macy’s gift card just for clicking a myspace banner ad and simply entering my social security number!
Heavy ass weightlessness is wreaking havoc on my gravitational pull,
Kristin
Song of the Day:
Van Halen "You're No Good" live 1979
