Vintage Ad: Akai home stereos, 1974

Learn to disco the Tiskotansi way!

Damn fine listening material: Reg Owen & His Orchestra, 1962

Bullshit or Not! February 24, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. The Bran Flakes, I Have Hands
2. Soil & Pimp, Planet Pimp
3. Leroy Hellfire, Jesus Ate My Mom
4. Various Artists, Hi-NRG Tribute to The Carpenters
5. Giant Brain, Thorn of Thrones
6. Bad Ideas, Baby Diaper Thong
7. Doggie Style, Missionary Positions
8. Vanessa Atalanta, Power of a Red Butterfly
9. Skaldic Curse, World Suicide Machine
10. Moses Giganticus, Commander!

Legit!
1. The Bran Flakes, I Have Hands
2. Soil & Pimp, Planet Pimp
5. Giant Brain, Thorn of Thrones
9. Skaldic Curse, World Suicide Machine
10. Moses Giganticus, Commander!

Bullshit!
3. Leroy Hellfire, Jesus Ate My Mom
4. Various Artists, Hi-NRG Tribute to The Carpenters
6. Bad Ideas, Baby Diaper Thong
7. Doggie Style, Missionary Positions
8. Vanessa Atalanta, Power of a Red Butterfly

Decadent Smut: A Star For Christina, 1981

Lusciously beautiful heiress Christina van Bell consults with her astrologer
to chart a heavenly route to the ultimate lover. From the Bois de Boulogne
of Paris to the neon lights of Times square, from the penthouses of Monte
Carlo to the ermine slopes of St. Moritz, Christina must travel through a
constellation of lovers before she finds the soul mate who has the sex sign
of her dreams.

The following handwritten letter was found yesterday on the blustery marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

Like clockwork I overslept again. And wouldn’t you know it—my brown eye has a nasty case of ass conjunctivitis. Well that’s what my proctologist told to me during my last optometrist appointment. Don’t it make my brown eye pink, huh? Damn, I’m like so freaking depressed that Conan O’Brien is moving his show from New York City to California. Now how the fuck am I going to stalk him? Groan, everything’s just really confusing since my unseasonable water retention has caused my brain to swell. Hey at least your tip about using string cheese when you’re out of tampons was aged to perfection.

I never have a clue when my monthly period is going to show up,

Kristin

Song of the Day:

The Mayyors, “Metro”

Damn fine reading material. Amazing Stories, 1952

Vintage Ad: Winnebago, 1971

And now a word from our sponsors. Miller Lite

Bullshit or Not! February 17, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. G-Stack, Dr. Purp Thumb
2. Manatees, Icarus Sunclimber
3. Gurf Morlix, Last Exit To Happyland
4. Underwater Gym, Why Are All These Weights Rusted?
5. Amorphous Androgynous, A Monsterous Psychedelic Bubble
6. The Sal Monella Quartet, Outbreak of Jazz Flute
7. Albatross, Pinwheels and Pelicans
8. Guitarshop Asshole, The Cheapest Pick
9. MC Loserhead, Damn, Where My Records At?
10. Steel Codpiece, Getting Medieval On Your Ass

Legit!
1. G-Stack, Dr. Purp Thumb
2. Manatees, Icarus Sunclimber
3. Gurf Morlix, Last Exit To Happyland
5. Amorphous Androgynous, A Monsterous Psychedelic Bubble
8. Guitarshop Asshole, The Cheapest Pick

Bullshit!
4. Underwater Gym, Why Are All These Weights Rusted?
6. The Sal Monella Quartet, Outbreak of Jazz Flute
7. Albatross, Pinwheels and Pelicans
9. MC Loserhead, Damn, Where My Records At?
10. Steel Codpiece, Getting Medieval On Your Ass

Iron Maidens: The all-female Iron Maiden tribute band

Vintage Ad: Volkswagen, 1969

Valentine Special: Marvin Gaye studio rehearsal, 1976

Wencke Myhre "Er hat ein knallrotes Gummiboot" 1970

Er hat ein knallrotes Gummiboot
mit diesem Gummiboot fahr'n wir hinaus!
Er hat ein knallrotes Gummiboot
und erst im Abendrot kommen wir nach Haus!

Bullshit or Not! February 10, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Various Artists, The String Tribute To Metallica
2. The Pussybats, Famous Last Songs
3. Sort Vokter, Folklonic Necro Metal
4. Mötley Dü, Hüsker Crüe
5. Hydro Astropussy, Probing Black Holes Of Outer Space
6. Xploding Plastix, Treated Timber Resists Rot
7. Fugger, Decade of the Dweeb
8. Henchmen of the Apocalypse, Downward Slide Since Yesterday
9. The Designer Drugs, By Rx Only
10. Guesswork is Boring, Waiting For Y3K

Legit!
1. Various Artists, The String Tribute To Metallica
2. The Pussybats, Famous Last Songs
3. Sort Vokter, Folklonic Necro Metal
6. Xploding Plastix, Treated Timber Resists Rot
9. The Designer Drugs, By Rx Only

Bullshit!
4. Mötley Dü, Hüsker Crüe
5. Hydro Astropussy, Probing Black Holes Of Outer Space
7. Fugger, Decade of the Dweeb
8. Henchmen of the Apocalypse, Downward Slide Since Yesterday
10. Guesswork is Boring, Waiting For Y3K

And now a word from our sponsors. Sears Toughskins

Vintage Ad: 7up, 1964

Dear Lisa letter flashback 2006

The following handwritten letter was recently discovered crumpled up, then smoothed, then crumpled up again on the grounds of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

Sayonara from Mild Horses! It’s an ex-Rolling Stones roadie retirement community in Varicose, Florida. It’s total satisfaction except undercover at night I keep having this repeating nightmare that I’m sleepwalking in my sleep over and over, but when I think I’m waking up, I constantly find I’m still sleeping while walking in my sleep--sort of like awake, but still sleeping. I’m a fool to cry, shattered, with mixed emotions, but under my thumb I’m between a rock and a hard place. It’s a right kufuffle I tell ya. Hey, have you seen my Netflix mail-in pap smear? Must’ve dropped it stopped by a cop for smoking crop in flip-flops, be-boppin to hip-hop and doo wop, playing gnip gnop while reading Hop on Pop to some hopped up Senators I met on Facebook. You can’t always get what you want bitch, but all down the line, I’m just a happy midnight rambler.

I’m lost on Lost—did someone find some P-Funk records or stash of Dharma weed yet in the hatch?

Kristin

Song of the Day:

“Inn” Chris Whitley & The Bastard Club

Alfonso Ribeiro's Breakin' & Poppin' instructional book

Can you rap? As an added bonus there's even a full rap sheet included!

Decadent Smut: Christina’s Pleasure, 1980

Indescribably beautiful heiress Christian van bell tempts the lusty appetite of a king--and taunts his hungry court. The delights of the royal palace become erotic adventures into newfound lands of soft and silken majesty as Christina is showered with favors that yield more pleasure than the greatest wealth could ever provide. But as she casually immerses herself in a boiling cauldron of daring intrigue, her untold secret will become more threatening and her life suddenly more desperate.

Bullshit or Not! February 3, 2009 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Roger Joseph Manning Jr., Catnip Dynamite
2. Plutz, Check Out My Dead Lover’s Stomach Contents
3. Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele, Good Feeling Music of Dent May
4. Bungalow Warriors, A Day At The Beach Is A Bitch
5. Stardeath and White Dwarfs, I Can’t Get Away
6. Egor, The Secrets of Fu Manchu
7. Various Artists, Caterwaul! A Grindcore Tribute to Bjork
8. Deathstars, Night Electric Night
9. Crackbaby Asskisser, Find the Cure Find The Source
10. Bibio, Vignetting The Compost

Legit!
1. Roger Joseph Manning Jr., Catnip Dynamite
3. Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele, Good Feeling Music of Dent May
5. Stardeath and White Dwarfs, I Can’t Get Away
8. Deathstars, Night Electric Night
10. Bibio, Vignetting The Compost

Bullshit!
2. Plutz, Check Out My Dead Lover’s Stomach Contents
4. Bungalow Warriors, A Day At The Beach Is A Bitch
6. Egor, The Secrets of Fu Manchu
7. Various Artists, Caterwaul! A Grindcore Tribute to Bjork
9. Crackbaby Asskisser, Find the Cure Find The Source

Vintage Ad: Virginia Slims, 1971