WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He’s dressed like a saucy celebrity regular on Match Game that constantly slays the host, breaks up contestants, and shocks audiences with his brilliant off-color answers. Dragged out to play a round of golf, The Paco Camino Man completes an exclusive country club foursome, unleashing a ridiculously amazing clinic on how to play this stupid non-sport. “With my pro baseball experience and my college night-putting exploits, I’ll just play it out of the ocean beneath a 200-foot cliff and roll it on the green.” Ahem, just to let you know, he teed off blindfolded after shotgunning a beer and smoking a jazz cigarette. In fact, he once made an approach off a beached whale's blowhole during a round with a neurotic wannabe marine biologist, a hipster doofus, and an observational comedian. Shit, sometimes, just for the fuck of it, he solves cartoonish crimes with a few close friends, the Harlem Globetrotters, and a stoner dog in a custom Mystery Machine van.