The following handwritten letter was recently found stuck on the ice baked marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

It just doesn’t add up, but the numbers don’t lie—I’m down for the count in my numerology class. When my tally calculator was 86’d and the magic abacus Merlin sold me fractured falling off an enumeration truck proving statistical tabulation impossible, I summarily played the odds and raised the decibels another notch. Oh yeah, that reminds me, did you catch Dakota Manning or I mean Eli Fanning in Super Bowl XXXMVLII? I like, get so confused when I watch boring college football and War of the Worlds on my stolen iPhone secretly financed by the Nicaraguans. I also think those “One in a Million” Hannah Montana tickets might be fake after all. Mine say ‘Wendy Wyoming.’

That’s the last time I trust a chipper potato scalper from Idaho,

Kristin


Song of the Day:

Medeski Martin & Wood, “Let’s Go Everywhere”