Bullshit or Not! April 27, 2010 Album Releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Alcoholic Faith Mission, Let This Be Last Night We Care
2. Fleas & Lice, Recipes For Catastrophes
3. Coathanger Abortion, Dying Breed
4. Tard, Disgorging Guttural Regurgitations
5. Atrocious Abnormality, Echoes of the Rotting
6. Sikfuk, Shitfisted Superman: The Man of Stool
7. Execration, Feast For The Wretched
8. Frog Eyes, Paul’s Tomb: A Triumph
9. Engaged in Mutilating, Population: Zero
10. Mouth Sewn Shut, Pandemic Equals Solution
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Legit!
1. Alcoholic Faith Mission, Let This Be Last Night We Care
2. Fleas & Lice, Recipes For Catastrophes
3. Coathanger Abortion, Dying Breed
4. Tard, Disgorging Guttural Regurgitations
5. Atrocious Abnormality, Echoes of the Rotting
6. Sikfuk, Shitfisted Superman: The Man of Stool
7. Execration, Feast For The Wretched
8. Frog Eyes, Paul’s Tomb: A Triumph
9. Engaged in Mutilating, Population: Zero
10. Mouth Sewn Shut, Pandemic Equals Solution
Bullshit!
None! These are all real.

Vintage Ad: RCA electronics, 1974

Speakers that look like boobs. Cool.

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He can see your house from here in his kick-ass balloon car. That’s right my brother, when you’ve got a motherfucking balloon car, it’s easy to get high and roll in style. Now, surely driving a balloon car is a fun adventure and a surefire way to get into any chick's pants, but sometimes in deeply reflective moments, the Paco Camino Man will look at the beautiful countryside floating underneath him and think, “Man, I’ll bet that starving dude from Into The Wild would’ve loved one of these, huh? Not only could Alexander Supertramp have crossed a raging river, but he could have made a sandwich and a stiff cocktail from the wet bar and custom deli fridge built in the back.”

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

Now summertime’s here babe, need something to keep you cool.
Aw now summertime’s here babe, need something to keep you cool.
Better look out now, Paco’s got something for you. Tell ya what it is.
I’m your ice cream man, stop me when I’m passing by. Oh my my.
I’m your ice cream man, stop me when I’m passin’ by.
Now see all my flavors are guaranteed to satisfy.

I got bim-bam banana pops and dixie cups. All flavors and push-ups too.
I’m your ice cream man baby, stop me when I’m passing by.
You see all my flavors are guaranteed to satisfy.
Well I'm usually passin' by just about eleven o'clock. Uh, I never stop.
I'm usually passin' by just around eleven o'clock.
And if you let me cool you one time, you’ll be my regular stop…

Or in Paco Camino sexual terminator terms, “I’ll be back.”

Bullshit or Not! April 20, 2010 Album Releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Sweet Apple, Love & Desperation
2. Lesbian Film Critics Society, Totally Gay For Chick Flicks
3. Rikets, All American Death Cult
4. Hellsongs, Hymns in the Key of 666
5. Syphilis For Children, Playing With Death
6. Levi and Werstler, Avalanche of Worms
7. The Wolfmen, Married to the Eiffel Tower
8. Butt Munch, Atomic Turdz
9. Stink Hole, Cat Vomit and Other Nasty Stuff
10. Basket Weavers, Wicker Underwear is Surprisingly Itchy
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Legit!
1. Sweet Apple, Love & Desperation
3. Rikets, All American Death Cult
4. Hellsongs, Hymns in the Key of 666
6. Levi and Werstler, Avalanche of Worms
7. The Wolfmen, Married to the Eiffel Tower
Bullshit!
2. Lesbian Film Critics Society, Totally Gay For Chick Flicks
5. Syphilis For Children, Playing With Death
8. Butt Munch, Atomic Turdz
9. Stink Hole, Cat Vomit and Other Nasty Stuff
10. Basket Weavers, Wicker Underwear is Surprisingly Itchy

Vintage Ad: Nunn Bush shoes, 1972

Vintage surf poster: The Performers, 1965

Bullshit or Not! April 13, 2010 Album Releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. All Leather, When I Grow Up I Wanna Fuck Like a Girl
2. Fabulous Penetrators, Send In The Clones
3. Little Claw, Spit & Swallow The Snow
4. Young Buck, Back On My Buck Shit Screwed
5. Hootchie Mama, Giving It Away For Free
6. Cancer Bats, Bears, Mayors, Scraps & Bones
7. Rejected, Bouncing Flat Basketballs
8. Yo Mudder, Inside Joke From Amsterdam
9. Various Artists, Slack Babbath: A Dyslexic Tribute to Black Sabbath
10. Knucklehead, Careful With That Cake Mix, Clarence
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Legit!
1. All Leather, When I Grow Up I Wanna Fuck Like a Girl
2. Fabulous Penetrators, Send In The Clones
3. Little Claw, Spit & Swallow The Snow
4. Young Buck, Back On My Buck Shit Screwed
6. Cancer Bats, Bears, Mayors, Scraps & Bones
Bullshit!
5. Hootchie Mama, Giving It Away For Free
7. Rejected, Bouncing Flat Basketballs
8. Yo Mudder, Inside Joke From Amsterdam
9. Various Artists, Slack Babbath, A Dyslexic Tribute to Black Sabbath
10. Knucklehead, Careful With That Cake Mix, Clarence

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

By land, air, or sea, he’s a famously mustachioed ex-Navy SEAL seeking the next thrill. When he can’t get enough excitement at the beach, he’ll strap on some water skis, grab onto a hang glider and have his Nam buddies Rick & T.C. fly him up behind a speeding dune buggy. Powerlessly intrigued by his All-American good looks and magnetizing persona, women just can’t take their eyes off him and can’t keep their hands off him either. With a lifetime of magnificent conquests ahead of him, the Paco Camino Man will soon trade his Jeep for a Ferrari to work as a private investigator living rent-free in Hawaii at Robin Masters’ estate. Sadly however, he’ll have to share the posh compound with a short, balding, long-winded, high-pants wearing Englishman and his two trained Dobermans Zeus and Apollo.

資生堂 くちびるのすべて

Vintage Ad: Dodge Charger, 1970

Bullshit or Not! April 6, 2010 Album Releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Atta, I Just Called To Say I Love You
2. Erotic Beef, Sweaty Stripper Cake
3. Macaroons, Let’s Go Coconuts
4. Monster Movie, Everyone Is A Ghost
5. Sex Picnic, I Packed a Velvet Blanket and a Basket Full of Dildos
6. Lucky Basterdz, Hated For Who We Are
7. Champion Show Dogs, Sniffin’ Hindquarters
8. Bug Girl, Blood, Sweat & Beers
9. Tinkler System, Water Sports For Backyard Summer Fun
10. Shittle, Touching Poop
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Legit!
1. Atta, I Just Called To Say I Love You
3. Macaroons, Let’s Go Coconuts
4. Monster Movie, Everyone Is A Ghost
6. Lucky Basterdz, Hated For Who We Are
8. Bug Girl, Blood, Sweat & Beers

Bullshit!
2. Erotic Beef, Sweaty Stripper Cake
5. Sex Picnic, I Packed a Velvet Blanket and a Basket Full of Dildos
7. Champion Show Dogs, Sniffin’ Hindquarters
9. Tinkler System, Water Sports For Backyard Summer Fun
10. Shittle, Touching Poop

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

His name is Boris and he’s a badass motherfucker. Ruler of the high seas with a foot long seacock, he’s a sexual legend of the deep. Sure, he’s got the facial scars to prove it, but he lets his mythic fore-skinned first mate do all the talking. Wearing a classic ribbed cardigan made from the fittest wool shorn from marathon-running sheep, the Paco Camino Man always has seafaring foxes rubbing their perfect asses up against his impressive manhood and close-fitting stretch pants. He picked this one up 20 minutes ago when she flashed him the high beams from the first row at the regatta award ceremony (Boris won first prize in record time, of course). With her Toyko tuners set to stun, the Paco Camino Man is moments away from some plunging action below deck. Don’t come knocking if this boats a-rocking.

The following handwritten letter was recently discovered on the cold, but sunny marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

Since when is Easter on a Sunday? I finally rented the flick Into the Wild and watched it like three times. Um, that hiker dude gets rescued at the end, right? I was so inspired by cutie Emile Hirsch when he cut up his credit cards and burned his money, that I’ve invested in a rice manufacturing plant (so I’ll never run out) and deleted like a 100 Myspace friends to symbolize severing complete ties with the outside world. Speaking of movies, I heard Leonardo DiCaprio might do Titanic II: Jack Dawson’s Spring Break Revenge. This time he’s a struggling baseball player fighting a strong passion to pole dance at a gay underwater men’s club run by loan sharks claiming the Titanic was a staged hoax like Oceanic flight 815 on LOST. Do your socks smell fishy and taste all silty and gritty? Yeah, funny, mine too. Maybe it’s that new Sand & Seagull detergent I bought in coffee cans from that homeless vagrant down at the docks.

“Beachy Clean” my ass!

Kristin

Song of the Day:

Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings, “Keep On Looking (Kenny Dope remix)