Krofft Supershow, 1976. With shit like this on Saturday mornings, it's no wonder kids in the 70s turned to drugs.

Hey it's me, Kaptain Kool and the Kongs! Super Chick. Turkey. Nashville. And Flatbush. And the boy howdiest show on earth--The Krofft Supershow! Starring Wonderbug, Dr. Shrinker and Electra Woman & Dyna Girl.

Kathy Ireland: Hotter Than Hell, 1984

Dry and Clear Acne Medication, 1977

Fuck you Proactiv! This shit has Exfoliator N-12 and only takes five days to work!

Vintage Ad #96: Mamiya/Sekor DTL Camera, 1973

Good camera. Bad photoshop.

The Star Wars Holiday Special

No you’re not hallucinating (uh, unless you’re zooming on acid, pink ladies or tainted fish larva, then yeah, you might be), but what you are seeing is a condensed version of the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special. Two hours of this crap exists. You don’t want to see it. George Lucas would rather it disappeared forever. Chewbacca's family? Bea fucking Arthur? Jefferson fucking Starship? What the hell is happening here?

The following handwritten letter was found crumpled up on the snow-encrusted marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

Can you believe that our lowly serf bitch housemaid from Southern Ecuador had the smug know-it-all gall to call me, me—the biggest pompous goddess of immodest ego—a stuck-up and conceited primadonna? Who does that inconsequential peon think she is compared to my regal status as queen of swelled-head self-importance? Hey did you clear your throat mucus into my moisture-wicking workout socks again? It’s either that or my inside-out cat finally emptied his digestive sack after weeks of storing up prescription strength fish chum cat dinners in his intestines. Just realized Christmas is on for December 25th again. It’s like so confusing every year. Say that reminds me, can complex math formulas be used as analogies for physical determinism?

This is the month with New Years eve, right?

Kristin

Song of the Day:

Japanty, “Koi no hareruya”

Dial-A-God

That's right--I like my spiritual advisors to drive Hondas.

Vintage Ad #19: Black Velvet Whisky, 1974

Star Crash, 1979. Obviously nothing like Star Wars.

This space fart of a movie is so bad, you’ll be hard-pressed to finish watching the trailer. Observe the Star Wars-like theme music, gratuitous use of lightsabers and talk of a "weapon so vast, so huge, that it would take a whole planet to conceal it.” Um, you mean like a Death Star?

Vintage Ad #75: TDK Cassettes, 1980

The Cult "Love Removal Machine" 1987

Ian Astbury: A modern day Jim Morrison reincarnated on Whistle Test.