Friday, September 18, 2015

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He’s dressed like a saucy celebrity regular on Match Game that constantly slays the host, breaks up contestants, and shocks audiences with his brilliant off-color answers. Dragged out to play a round of golf, The Paco Camino Man completes an exclusive country club foursome, unleashing a ridiculously amazing clinic on how to play this stupid non-sport. “With my pro baseball experience and my college night-putting exploits, I’ll just play it out of the ocean beneath a 200-foot cliff and roll it on the green.” Ahem, just to let you know, he teed off blindfolded after shotgunning a beer and smoking a jazz cigarette. In fact, he once made an approach off a beached whale's blowhole during a round with a neurotic wannabe marine biologist, a hipster doofus, and an observational comedian. Shit, sometimes, just for the fuck of it, he solves cartoonish crimes with a few close friends, the Harlem Globetrotters, and a stoner dog in a custom Mystery Machine van.

Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Weapons 'n Flowers, Hungry For Annihilation

Heard the band is getting back together. They'll play all the hits including "Greetings to the Forest," "December Snow" and "Utopia Town."