Sunday, February 28, 2010

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

He’s beginning to get the fear. And who wouldn’t when road tripping to Vegas with two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozens amyls. But the Paco Camino Man can survive a savage journey to the heart of the American dream, all in the name of Gonzo journalism. A wise Hunter once wrote, “He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.”

Friday, February 26, 2010

Decadent Smut: Christina's Wager, 1984

ChrisWager84a The ever-daring Christina van Bell makes a wild wager that propels her on her most erotic adventure yet. From the nude beaches of the Caribbean to the romantic castles of Scandinavia, Christina disports with virgins and surgeons, leading men and lively ladies. To win her bold bet, Christina plays the game of love by her own rules.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The following handwritten letter was recently found crumpled up and stuck to the icy marble steps of McKinley Hall:

Dear Lisa,

I’m pretty sure space aliens dropped two half-eaten bagels and several pieces of strange notebook paper in my back yard last Wednesday night. The bagels wound up tasting like crusty dog pee and seriously, you can’t rip this paper. It’s un-rippable! Funny too, since I started my exclusive Oreo cookie diet, my shit has turned green and my nipples have shriveled hard and turned black. My guess is that the nonstop Oreo consumption isn’t related (those cookies are just so delicious), but who knows, I’ve been wrong before (ie: popularity of sandpaper thongs and spicy salsa douches). Gut feeling—it's merely extreme cramping from insane binding constipation.

I find myself asleep lately when I’m not awake late at night,

Kristin

Song of the Day:

El Michels Affair, “Protect Ya Neck”

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Bullshit or Not! February 16, 2010 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Barn and Lennart Hellsing, Krakel Spektakel
2. Flaming Kitten, Smells Like Hot Pussy
3. The Dilholes, Ingesting Your Rancid Farts Has Made Me Dull
4. Fashion Theory, Strip Down And Get Dressed
5. Bastard Noise and Endless Blockade, Red List
6. Fleshies, Brown Flag
7. Various Artists, Shut The Fuck Up and Listen!!! Vol.1
8. Mutant Argonauts, Astro Space Sluts On Planet Porn
9. Brotha Lynch Hung, Now Eat
10. Green Heads, Blue Balls
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Legit!
1. Barn and Lennart Hellsing, Krakel Spektakel
5. Bastard Noise and Endless Blockade, Red List
6. Fleshies, Brown Flag
7. Various Artists, Shut The Fuck Up and Listen!!! Vol.1
9. Brotha Lynch Hung, Now Eat

Bullshit!
2. Flaming Kitten, Smells Like Hot Pussy
3. The Dilholes, Ingesting Your Rancid Farts Has Made Me Dull
4. Fashion Theory, Strip Down And Get Dressed
8. Mutant Argonauts, Astro Space Sluts On Planet Porn
10. Green Heads, Blue Balls

Monday, February 15, 2010

Sunday, February 14, 2010

WHAT SORT OF WOMAN READS PACO CAMINO?

She’s absolutely exquisite. Seductively concealing her identity with a hot sequined mask, this stunningly gorgeous temptress has set the stage for a sexually adventurous night of masquerade games. For this once in a lifetime encounter, she’ll playfully tease her two new lovers until they can’t control themselves any longer, unleashing sensual passions transcending conventional erotic boundaries. Where in the world could this impossibly sexy imagination come from? Why, from reading Paco Camino of course.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Bullshit or Not! February 9, 2010 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. Black Cat Bones, Barbed Wire Sandwich
2. Fuck Your Shadow From Behind, Freigeist
3. Valenween, Love To Kill You Sweetie
4. Die! Chihuahua Die!, Bitch Songs
5. Pinhead Gunpowder, Compulsive Disclosure
6. Various Artists, Sympathy For The Dirt Devil: A Sucky Rolling Stones Vacuum Cleaner Tribute
7. Shorty Rogers & The Giants, You Shorty, Me Tarzan
8. The Booty Boys, Full Moon Crunk
9. Hott Temper, Sexy Is As Sexy Does
10. Johnny Westside, East of the Blues
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Legit!
1. Black Cat Bones, Barbed Wire Sandwich
2. Fuck Your Shadow From Behind, Freigeist
4. Die! Chihuahua Die!, Bitch Songs
5. Pinhead Gunpowder, Compulsive Disclosure
7. Shorty Rogers & The Giants, You Shorty, Me Tarzan

Bullshit!
3. Valenween, Love To Kill You Sweetie
6. Various Artists, Sympathy For The Dirt Devil: A Sucky Rolling Stones Vacuum Cleaner Tribute
8. The Booty Boys, Full Moon Crunk
9. Hott Temper, Sexy Is As Sexy Does
10. Johnny Westside, East of the Blues

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Friday, February 05, 2010

Thursday, February 04, 2010

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PACO CAMINO?

playboyresortaHe’s cool as fuck and dresses like a champ. Confident enough to pull off wearing a pale yellow button-down cardigan, he's still capable of kicking someone’s ass in the parking lot if he has to (fucking valet dinged the new Jag). This blond country club Adonis has money to burn and wantonly does so in ridiculously expensive resort bars. Beautiful and horny debutants wearing slinky dresses, sexy sun hats and long strands of pearls flirt with him relentlessly. They are drawn to him like grass stains on white leisure slacks. Hope you brought protection buddy, because you’re reading Paco Camino.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Bullshit or Not! February 2, 2010 album releases

Every week dozens of strange bands release CDs with strange titles to attract listeners. Guess which five are legit and which five are bullshit:

1. David Gibb, Apple In My Teeth
2. Kissogram, Rubber & Meat
3. Orange Man Theory, Satan Told Me I’m Right
4. Death Breath, Let It Stink
5. Punks Not Dad, We Are The Dads
6. Geriatric Unit, Distance & Damage
7. Pale White Moon, Call Of The Wolf Peach
8. Torture Killer, For Maggots To Devour
9. Ceephax Acid Crew, United Acid Emerates
10. Skindred, Shark Bites & Dog Fights
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Legit!
1. David Gibb, Apple In My Teeth
2. Kissogram, Rubber & Meat
3. Orange Man Theory, Satan Told Me I’m Right
4. Death Breath, Let It Stink
5. Punks Not Dad, We Are The Dads
6. Geriatric Unit, Distance & Damage
7. Pale White Moon, Call Of The Wolf Peach
8. Torture Killer, For Maggots To Devour
9. Ceephax Acid Crew, United Acid Emerates
10. Skindred, Shark Bites & Dog Fights

Bullshit!
None! This week all ten releases are legit.